Shandi:
o/`'...and did he ever return? No he never returned and his fate is still unlearned, (Just like Paul Revere) he will ride forever on the Jade Dragon River, he's the man who never returned!'`\o
Shandi:
Wow, the color balance on that food is really OFF!.
Shandi:
The Tin-Man doesn't seem to be too happy to have gotten lei'd...
Shandi:
The Body Condom was approved for use today by the FDA; however, sales have been modest at best with the introduction of the product's new Poster Boy.
Shandi:
"Where did I park my brother again?"
Shandi:
"Chelsie, you're looking a Little Pale today. Are you ok?"
Shandi:
*guy holding the other back* Let it go, man!
*guy in mud* But it was the last Red Ryder Pump Action Double Barrel Air Rifle!
*first guy* You'll shoot your eye out!
*second guy* No way - it's got a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time, man!
Shandi:
Mick Fleetwood's little-known fetish: pastrami on Sterns & Foster.
Shandi:
"But I *always* dress like this when cleaning out my bathroom!"
Shandi:
When good comedians go bad - George Burns AS Gracie.
Shandi:
And now, the newest Off-Off-Off-Off-Broadway musical, "The Mozart Keller Story," starring Amadeus as the quirky teacher of Hellen Keller! Buy your tickets NOW!
Shandi:
And during one of Dubya's many photo ops onboard military vessels, a freak accident occured with a cloning device and a rubber band -- causing our commander in chief to devolve for 2 weeks and serve in the army...
Shandi:
It sure gives new meaning to the term "IHOP" doesn't it?
Shandi:
Wow, the Wall of Keyboards is getting a whole new Look!
Shandi:
Is it me, or is this the beginning of the world’s largest pot of beanie weenies?! Hold me, I’m scared...
Shandi:
Everybody Do the Robot! - oh wait, we already - never mind. Oh the pain...
Shandi:
(Golf voiceover, in generic Norse/Swedish accent) "It's the first day of the Norse Marble Championships, and here we see Dirk 'The Shirk' Gnerkson shoots his famous "Cranberry" set..."
Shandi:
I didn't even know that Shat *had* a cock-rocket from Orgazmo, much less knew how to use it!
Shandi:
"Generik, did you know you have a perfect replica of the Great Wall in Miniature in your ear?"
Shandi:
o/` Valley Girl, She's a Valley Girl! `\o
Shandi:
"My chewing gum *DOES* lose it's flavor on the bedpost overnight, so THERE!"