Shandi:
(voiceover) Though it was popular for nose bobs in England, the "Nose Bra" never really caught on internationally.
Shandi:
Is it live, Memorex, or HDTV?!
Shandi:
"Sir, I do insist that you give me your car keys - you can't drink and drive too!"
Shandi:
"I got the Idea from screening Terri Gilliam's BRAZIL about 30 times in 48 hours, with no sleep -- how does it look?"
Shandi:
I don't think that this qualifies you to be STRAW men, Gen..... You'd all fail the Scarecrow tests immediately.
Shandi:
"Fantasy Baseball Camp" really takes on a WHOLE NEW MEANING here...*shudders*
Shandi:
"Can I have spam, spam, spam spam, baked beans, spam, spam spam and spam?"
"No - the baked beans are off!"
"Ok, can I have spam in place of the baked beans then?"
Shandi:
"I now knight you Earl of Dunderhead, Knight of Idiocy and Duke of ... errr, what was that last title again?"
Shandi:
"Oh come on baby, pull my trigger -- you know you want to!! Did you like it, was it good for you too?"
Shandi:
"Hey, I've got a great job, I work with a great bunch of guys and we're always playing practical jokes on each other. But I know that it will grow back, right guys? *laughs nervously* Guys?!"
Shandi:
Quick, somebody perform the Hiney-Lick Maneuver on this poor soul!
Shandi:
Is this chili HOT, or is it just me?
Shandi:
They're running because they discovered they were wearing the same shoes to Saturday's Party!
Shandi:
(kid)"What are we wearing? Well, mom's got her white hooker dress on with no underwear and Uncle Bob here is sporting the fashionably out of date sport look - what? Dad's in the Slammer, why?"
Shandi:
"You just *know* that, after a few beers, this will start to look *GOOD*"
Shandi:
At least they seem to have their heads on straight...
Shandi:
And right on time comes "Marching Band lady," our local street resident - you can practically set your clock by her marching down the street - and people take bets every day to see when her top will fall off...
Shandi:
Oooooh, Manu Pluton has *really* let himself go!
Shandi:
Mr. and Mrs. Smith had been to some therapy for their sex life and were told that an active fantasy would help stimulate their sex life a bit. I don't think they understood quite what "active fantasy" meant, though...
Shandi:
Ok, the Post-Apocalyptic Fashion Police all *KNOW* that red shoes do not go with a crinoline skirt!
Shandi:
"It's Shake & Bake Monster Mash - and I helped!"