Shandi: *"Need a Hand with that?" "No thanks, already on top of it.." |
Shandi: Unfortunately, after the horrible accident at the Tattoo parlor, these two posed for the camera while attending some art show -- and a rich lady promptly bid on and won the hands for $4,000 each! |
Shandi: <left guy> Which lady do you want to help? <right guy> You take the blond, I'll take the one in the turban! |
Shandi: Here's one of the finalists for the "Rocket X-9" Olympic team; unfortunately, he didn't make it. The fuel cell (the sports bottle strapped to his back) chose that moment to implode. He's now a black hole over New Jersey. |
Shandi: My guess is, since he's checking the filter and he's got the lighter and cigarettes strapped to the side, that this is going to be a Smoking Gun. |
Shandi: Now, for your viewing pleasure, the worlds first Koolaid Distillery -- to make your very own Koolaid Wine! |
Shandi: Thousands of Praying Moonies fall victim to the Reverend's latest shrek; get it in the end. Film at eleven. |
Shandi: And now the Coppertone Dogsled Competition gets underway and -- oh look, a surprise! |
Shandi: Push the Button, Frank! |
Shandi: The origins of the "Joe Don Baker" Cult: Practicing Overheating Dinner and Blowing Up the Compound Day. |
Shandi: "Mike Tyson's Fried Ears - so finger-lickin'-good that they knock you on your A-hh, out!" |
Shandi: Here's a tree that lives in daily mortal terror of the coming of "The Day of Bobbitectomy." |
Shandi: The NEW Stepford Stewardess school is now open, featuring such techniques as Constant Cheer Throughout Turbulence, Coping Cheerfully with Crying Kids, and Tactfully Turning a Pass into a 3-day Weekend with Bozo. |
Shandi: "(whispers) Wow, Looks like Mack the Knife really knew what he was talking about --(yelling) Er, Mr. Knife? We'll have you out of there in a jiffy..." |
Shandi: The new Low-Cal, Low-Fat cheese slice made with Olestra(tm): may cause uncontrollable sneezing and bitter beer face when ingested. |
Shandi: And just as Joe was getting the Spirit, he slipped -- and ended up as a tape on America's Funniest home videos, winning his best friend $3000 and ruining their friendship. His best friend didn't seem to mind, though. |
Shandi: After the Captain burned the kid's house, broke his arm and gave him a percentage of the latest movie cash, they both agreed to part company -- after he signed the agreement on the kid's cast, of course. |
Shandi: Warped Faerie Tales: Danny Elfman on his Wedding Night *shudders* |
Shandi: Ok, what *I* want to know is, if they're trying to break a record for pole sitting, *how did they get the ice cream cones up there?!* |
Shandi: Santa hits the skids in "When Elves Attack" on "Sick Sad World!" Next! |
Shandi: A show that requires me to THINK? Can I *do* that? "Honey, do I have any brain cells around? There's this show on that's making me try to THINK!" |
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