Shandi:
*whispering* "Should we tell him his pants are split?
Shandi:
*man on right* "Are you here selling for Amway?"
*man on left* "No, Mr. Bush, I'm here about George. He's gotten us into trouble again, but I think I've got the stuff here on my lap to solve the problem..."
Shandi:
At the Marlon Brando Pet Adoption Agency, we will adopt no Pet before its time.
Shandi:
"Ok, that's it -- Quell for everybody!"
Shandi:
Early "Caption This" tests go horribly wrong...
Shandi:
"If you play Ozzy's 'Houses of the Holy' backwards, it says "Goooo to Chuuurch, Saaay your prayers -- TITHE!"... Weird, yes?"
Shandi:
Here we see the Poster Child for "Girl Six for Sex," Displaying his/her latest, er, talents.
Shandi:
I said I wanted DESSERT, not DESERT!
Shandi:
Would you like a career as an Ambassador to Other Planets? Well, send your self addressed, stamped envelope to the address listed on your screen!
Shandi:
"Trace, that wasn't the coffee you drank....." "Then what *was* that you gave me?" (silence) "And you still expect an autograph for that joke?"
Shandi:
"Hey, Asia: Show us your underalls!"
Shandi:
"Eep op ork ah ah! That means I love you!" (For all you Jetsons fans!)
Shandi:
"Of *course* it's a complete chicken dinner -- why, how do *YOU* slow-cook YOUR chicken?"
Shandi:
And now the Amazing Rando will demonstrate his new "Automatic Juggle-0-Matic" machine -- it slices, it dices, it makes Julienne fries!"
Shandi:
<Voiceover> Here at the Good Humor Military Academy, we teach Honor, Discipline, and the value of an Ice Cream Bomb in creating world peace! </Voiceover>
Shandi:
Marketing tip #1: Sex Sells. We don't know *what* you'll be selling, but we'll sure notice the sex!
Shandi:
<Voiceover> With Science's latest invention, 'The Egometer', we can measure the size, shape and weight of this man's ego. The results are in: it's the exact size, shape and weight of -- NEW JERSEY?! </Voiceover>
Shandi:
OOOH, the Unknown Comic has *not* aged well!!
Shandi:
(whispering) Honey, you've got a -
(man) What?! I can't hear you, you'll have to shout.
(shouting) YOU'VE got a RIP in your PANTS!
Shandi:
Early Testing for the Oral version of Laughing Gas ground to a halt today as Dr. Giggles (as he now refers to himself) refuses to allow any other human test subjects access to the new medication... now he laughs at his own jokes, which is a pity, as they are all really bad!
Shandi:
<Voiceover> Suddenly the date goes horribly wrong when her braces reared their ugly head and proceeded to shred, dice and julienne his face in "Cuisinarte of Blood"! </Voiceover>