Agent_Moldy:
Yes, plastics are improving our lives and our appearances. Still, when the diploma on your plastic surgeon's wall comes from a Cracker Jack™ box, don't trust him with your cheerleaders' nose jobs. And that's one to grow on, parents.
Buffoon:
For the Christmas season, they now come gift wrapped! I know they're on Ying's list, and since they're cheaper in volume, why not send one to me too!
Steve_Reeves:
The other cheerleaders finally figured out Brandi needed air when her skin turned the same shade as her uniform...
144b:
Here at Fantazies Inc. All our cheerleaders come pre-teen shrinked wrapped.
UpSky2:
[left:] .oO Maybe I should invent... cellophane panty-hose! Oo.
[right:] Maybe I shouldn't commit suicide this way after all. Suffocating's so gauche!
DiscoBoy:
Just add beauty-queen-style sashes that say "Sanitized For Your Protection" and then the football team will be able to mess around to their hearts' content without worrying about any icky diseases.
suggs:
Wow!!! Sanitized and pre-wrapped cheerleaders! The Net is amazing!
Lanzman:
Sanitized for your protection.
questor:
The Bill Clinton Library installs a take out menu.
nbutlerdidit:
"The NEW Crystalline BARBIE! (With Siamese Barbie Twin, not sold separately.)"
Generik:
The best part is driving them for the first time and getting that "new cheerleader" smell.
JAUSTRALIS:
"Do you ever feel... 'not so fresh'? Well, FRET NO MORE!..."
BlakHat1:
Desperate to jumpstart the economy, Mattel lets out all the stops in marketing to the 18-50 range single males.
evetsggod:
It's a sad day when Gallagher resorts to doing high school football halftime shows.
rickubis:
New, for Halloween! Laura Palmer costume kits! Be the first on *your* block to be dead, wrapped in plastic. Get friends to drag you around and yell "trick or treat" since you won't be in a position to do much. Funeral/burial/dumping by a river not included.
Nyssa23:
"o/` I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world! Wrapped in plastic, it's fantastic! o/`"
HoneyT:
"It's the Grab-Bag Super Slut Fantasticash Savings at Ames!"
starkbalmy:
After their last post-game encounter with the entire football team, Jenna and Madison take a few more precautions, with the hope of keeping their uniforms clean and un-Monicaed this time...
nastinkers:
These cheerleaders come fully assembled in their factory wrappings. Just unwrap, inflate head with air, and be prepared for hours of skirt-flipping fun!
abracadaver:
First time using a Dry-Cleaning service?
Matteus:
Surprisingly, she didn't mess up any of the cheers in spite of the fact that she was half in the bag the whole game...
ArtMystery:
The cheerleaders at Twin Peaks High School perform the Laura Palmer Memorial routine annually before every Homecoming Game.
Reynard_T_Fox:
"Tee hee! This bag is like a *toy*! Tee...hee..." *thud*
Daleman:
While security has eased up somewhat, confidentiality is still assured for guests visiting Bill Clinton’s office.
Janx:
These cheerleading twins were the result of the 99% efficiency of prophylactic protection from unwanted pregnancy. Tonya and Kira will have us remind you to always double bag.
Flavio:
This year's crop of Hale-Boppers
AAAron333:
"Clyde Bruckman's Final 'Cheerleading' Repose."
TyranosaurisRex:
".nerdlihc llams morf yawa peeK .noitacoffus esuac yaM :regnaD"
Hey Shirley, what does that mean? Does your bag say that too? <giggles>
chilwil:
In a bid to woo American Catholics, the Vatican showcases its inaugural line of prophylactics at the Notre Dame-Navy game.
ABServo:
Ladies and gentlemen... the Jeffrey Dahmer High School Cheerleaders!
Chebby:
The Mary Kate and Ashley dolls we've all been waiting for have finally arrived! Just in time for the holidays too! But hurry, supplies are limited.