Agent_Moldy:
<Voiceover> "I'm Larry Flynt, for No-Tell Motel 6. We'll leave the perv out for ya."
DiscoBoy:
Waterbed safety tip #363 -- Never get out of the boat!
Buffoon:
"See? I told you the Gold Spike wasn't that bad of a place to stay!"
Steve_Reeves:
Delbert Sistrunk prepares for his solo attempt at summiting Everest by modeling the gear he plans to wear on the trip. "I think the reason most people don't get to the top is all those clothes they wear, "stated Delbert in a press release. His training consists of jumping from his bed to his brother's bed over and over and over and over and over and...
questor:
"Ralph Lauren's 'Designed by Stevie Wonder' line of fall clothing will soon be available through your local Salvation Army"
144b:
On Pax TV, this Fall. Dana Carvey is John Denver in the world premiere made for tv special mini series event, "Rocky Mountain Hiiiieeee!!!!"
Lanzman:
Brian had never slept in a waterbed before, but he wanted to be ready for anything.
Generik:
"Hi. I'm Marlon Perkins, Junior. Today on Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, we're here in a seedy motel in Joliet, Illinois, hoping to catch one of the last specimens of a dying breed, the twenty-dollar hooker, in her native habitat."
GersonK:
Another intrepid Arctic explorer prepares for a trip to the ice machine.
ArtMystery:
"I'm Tom Bodett for Motel 6. We'll leave the Lysol for ya."
rickubis:
Anyway, it was the biggest damn bird I ever saw. So, I shot it, and skinned it, and made this vest. The meat was kind of tough and... what? I shot the baseball team mascot? What are you talking about?
BlakHat1:
It's true! Geek Porn DOES exist!
HoneyT:
"Well, I'm ready for the Flaming Freakish Flamboyant Flippant Fools gathering... do you think there's anything missing?"
ABServo:
And if the microwave ever goes out, just put me out in the sun, and you'll have freshly-popped popcorn in no time!
Ragbot:
In a bid to replace the existing "Mae West" Life Jacket, the Navy is experimenting with other options. Here, the ensign is wearing the latest development; the "Liberace."
Chebby:
Tom Bodette was right! The light was on! Thanks Tom!
malaclypse:
The tooth fairy cuts her vacation short when she realizes her stand-in is a complete idiot.
starkbalmy:
Alan fully intended to spend the holiday weekend skiing, but when he discovered that the bed in his room had Magic Fingers, he converted all his cash to quarters and spent three days just lying on his back vibrating.
Jazzsoda:
"Who knew Pampers made outerwear? Tonight at Café Mars, I'm soiling myself in motherf*cking style!"
Reynard_T_Fox:
"Got my Columbia vest, got my Timbalands, Mount Shasta, here I come!"
Janx:
Hostages are worth 500 pts if safely escorted to a rescue zone, -1000 if killed.
Nyssa23:
"This might be a bumpy ride, baby, but don't worry, you can use me as a flotation device!"
nastinkers:
His parents misunderstood the concept of taking a vested interest in their son.
UpSky2:
When I checked into my hotel, I was astonished to find this cutout of... could it be??... William Sanderson... dressed in Marty McFly's costume from 'Back To The Future', waiting for me by my bedside. So I called down to the desk, and requested a cardboard cutout of a coffin to put the thing in.
IllegalityGirl:
"Me, Heather and Josh are ready to look for the Blair Witch!"
abracadaver:
Pat discovered that he could make a thermal suit entirely out of butter. Unfortunately, he only had enough ziplocs and butter to make one vest.
TyranosaurisRex:
With his army-surplus, stain-resistant life jacket on, Fred was ready for his nightly session of bed wetting and nocturnal emissions.
Laurie2K:
"I wear protection, okay? This came off a boat. Janie says if it's not wet and sloppy, it's just not a real kiss."
Ash_Skywalker:
You can always tell when a New Orleans tourist is going on the shark tour at the Aquarium of the Americas...
chilwil:
"And, with his trusty downfeather vest on to ward off evildoers' bullets, Cap'n Goshawk flies the coop to do battle with -- BLAM!!!! -- (feathers drift back onto the set) ...um, tune in next week as we introduce a new superhero, 'Colonel Condom,' and watch him turn violent terrorist organizations into safe sects."
Geier:
Joel Hodgson's lesser-known brother Phil was never kidnapped, shot into space, and forced to watch bad movies along with zany robots, or anything cool like that. But he DOES usually manage to finagle about 25% off at Red Roof Inn with his "I'm so poor all I've got to wear is this faux life jacket" schtick.
Daleman:
From the LL Bean Official Snipe Hunt catalog.