Agent_Moldy:
Lance Armstrong admitted to using performance-enhancing devices, and to pressuring the French competitors to hold back so that he could win another Tour-de-France, in a statement issued earlier today. "Hey, why not?" Armstrong proclaimed. "It worked for that Russian ice skating team, didn't it?"
Buffoon:
He said it was gas powered. I didn't see a fuel tank, so (in one of the few times I've agreed with the Bush Administration) I decided to adopt a "Don't Ask-Don't Tell" policy.
Steve_Reeves:
The original design for Captain America's chopper in the film "Easy Rider" just didn't excite Peter Fonda...
IMissMST3K:
It wasn't until Herman's Beanie Cap slid down his back, that he realized he HAD something...unfortunately, he didn't quite know WHAT!
Ash_Skywalker:
Liam Neeson in
"The Rocketeer: Part II".
144b:
Not only can inventor Oslo Kanphfroer achieve airborne flight, but it also doubles as a slaughterhouse tool at the chicken plant, at which Mr. K. works.
questor:
"Mel Gibson is Mad Max - Beyond Velodrome"
DiscoBoy:
The designers of RoboCop had to go back to the drawing board after passersby kept calling their beta version "HoboCop." Saaad.....
Lanzman:
"Ponch? John? Hey, wait up, guys!"
Generik:
Very few nations send athletes to compete in the once-popular Quadrathlon anymore, as the cost has become prohibitive. Contestants face a grueling course that requires them to bike, ski, shoot rifles and then fly away with a personal aircraft of their own design that they must carry with them throughout the competition.
Nyssa23:
"Originally, James Bond's getaway in the opening scenes of 'Thunderball' was to be far less dramatic."
Kota:
"So far, the only technical difficulties have come from the bike seat pinching off the tube that runs down the back of his pants, that supplies the 'gas' that runs the fan!"
UpSky2:
Needless to say, the screen test of 1981's proposed "Back To The Future," starring (as shown here), Peter Davison ----- was not a success with the producers.
chilwil:
"With this, my new SuperSecret SpeedRacer, I will fly down the lanes faster than the Hounds of Hell. And, to prove it, I want you, Ronnie, to release the dobermans when I say- hey, no! Not yet! I'm not- I haven't-aw crrrraaaappppp!"
ArtMystery:
"I realize that being a star athlete in an obscure sport is a tough career choice, but hey, it's my cross to bear."
HoneyT:
"The real reason behind the making of the suicide machine."
nastinkers:
Howard was teased a lot in high school...
starkbalmy:
"Sports drinks? Oh, I usually just throw a salt tablet and a handful of sawdust into a bottle of quinine. Why? You say Red Bull gives you *wings*?"
Shandi:
Here's one of the finalists for the "Rocket X-9" Olympic team; unfortunately, he didn't make it. The fuel cell (the sports bottle strapped to his back) chose that moment to implode. He's now a black hole over New Jersey.
screaming_fist:
"Throw sh*t at me, will they? I'll show them."
TyranosaurisRex:
Big race? Feeling lethargic? Try Power Spank™. Within seconds, Power Spank™ and its incredible ass paddling action will whip up your adrenalin to amazing, if not illegal levels. CAUTION: Use only as directed. Power Spank™ may be habit forming for individuals with certain tendencies.
Annakie7:
"I'LL tell you what happened to the Lindbergh baby. ...Well, maybe not. But when I say that, it sure as hell makes people look."
Matteus:
Granted, he's wearing a ceiling fan and his bike is a giant clothespin, but why the broken sword and the can of AquaNet?
ArchHallJr:
Phil Lovitz, rejected applicant for the FBI, CIA, NSA and McDonald's shows off his latest surveillance invention. "I could have found Bin Laden by now. They threw away a gold mine."
Janx:
"This'll teach Edison for calling me a hack!"
Geier:
Sadly, though many have fond memories of his oft-serialized mentor Rocketman, few can recall the much-maligned and little-appreciated sidekick, Fanboy.
Mr_Grant:
"Bike Rider, a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist. Michael Bike, a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless in a world of criminals who operate above the law."
Michael, will you stop if you see any motorcycles or cars I can talk to?
Shut up B.I.K.E., we've got a job to do and bad guys to vanquish.
But Michael, I'm a state of the art self-learning digital brain matrix. I need social interaction with others of my kind.
B.I.K.E., there are no others of your kind, unless you had in mind plugging into the diagnostic computer of a '98 Chevy Caprice.
What do you take me for, some kind of pervert?
Do you WANT me to have Bonnie hang plastic streamers from the ends of your handlebars?
Fine, I'll shut up. I know when I'm not appreciated. vvvvrrrrrrooooOOOOOOMMMMMM
<"Bike Rider" will return in a moment>
Reynard_T_Fox:
To his disappointment, the Tour De France committee rejected Bob's request to be the "pace bike".