Agent_Moldy:
<R>"Say, Ted, isn't that your wife the Hendrickson kids are defiling?"
<L>"D'oh, those crazy kids, I swear! Hey, nice form, Bobby! Ooo, just a little to the left, Timmy, and you'll -- there you go! Heh-heh-heh...these kids. Gotta love 'em!"
Buffoon:
"I'm tellin' ya Charlie, he'll fit!"
"I dunno... Looks like a pretty tight squeeze... And Hoffa weren't no lightweight, if ya get my drift!"
"Yeah, but I brought a hacksaw, just in case we need to do some alterin' on the body."
"A hacksaw? Why didn't ya say so before? Hell, wid' a hacksaw, we could fit Orson Welles in there!"
144b:
"So, you think you got the basement deep enough, Ira?"
"Ah, I could go a few more feet. But then you have to draw up a lease with Satan. 'Cause if we go a few more feet, we'll be over his 9th ring of Hell."
Steve_Reeves:
Dwight Eisenhower and Lucky Luciano try to get in touch with their feminine sides...
TurkeyVolGuessingMan:
"What you talkin' 'bout, Harvey?"
DiscoBoy:
"I dunno, Manny. Don't you think making Jack sleep with the fishes is a little risky?"
"Maybe you're right, Moe. Let's just dump him in this building foundation instead."
questor:
"Dwight Eisenhower and Dean Rusk cruisin for tail"
Lanzman:
"Not bad, Louie, not bad. But lemme show you how to hawk a loogie like a MAN."
Mr_Grant:
Coming up next on MTV2, a world premiere video -- Detective "Big Jim" Palmer and Lt. Harvey "Longhorn" McSwain perform their hit single
Up On The Roof (Of The Texas Schoolbook Depository)
Generik:
"Criminey, Jasper! You ever see anyone do that with a jackhammer before?"
"Jeepers, Casper... not without usin' a whole lot o' Vaseline first."
"Yeah, that's gonna leave a bruise, all right."
IMissMST3K:
"That song "We Can Dance if We Want To" doesn't apply to *you*, Harry! You never had, and never WILL have, rhythm."
Nyssa23:
"Open-air stripping, while it drew many spectators, was ultimately deemed not profitable enough to become a business."
ArtMystery:
Nothing could ruin Gerald's day faster than seeing his best foreman repeatedly grabbing his crotch and making kissy-faces at the backhoe operator. Claude, on the other hand, was strangely intrigued...
HoneyT:
First guy: "Where's dat young whippersnapper? He promised us a whole lifetime supply of Viagra!"
Second guy: "Dag nabbit, I got the ol' pinsetter straight and narrow fer nothin'!"
nastinkers:
No, I said SPIT in the can!!!
Ash_Skywalker:
"Aww, now that ain't right!"
Shandi:
<left guy> Which lady do you want to help? <right guy> You take the blond, I'll take the one in the turban!
Matteus:
Today's thrifty mobsters buy their clothes at The Salvation Army!
robofreak:
"Damned if I know how she got it up in there Ted, but I do know this: If I get it back, I want it dry cleaned."
Laurie2K:
Ignoring offers to buy him out, Jim kept his house where it stood. Then the house burned down with Jim still in it! Tragic loss! Millions of roaches suddenly left homeless!
ABServo:
Things that make you go "Hmmmmm!!"
ArchHallJr:
"Say, whaddya tryin' to pull here, Joe?" "I don't understand it, Mort. He dances and sings 'Ragtime Gal'! Honest!"
joe678:
"Well, whaddaya think dere, Vito?" "Looks ok to me, but I still don't know why you left Hoffa an air outlet down dere...."
chilwil:
"My god, Captain, they're mooning you!"
WEIRD_1:
Would you look over there! Everything is in color!
Geier:
No matter how he tried to hide it, Stanley loved the feel of a well-sized hat. I mean, REALLY loved it. In ...uhm..."that" sense.
(Fred simply pretended not to see.)
IllegalityGirl:
"Some guys can really pull off tube tops, Earl. But *that* guy ain't one of 'em."