Agent_Moldy:
Most guys used a "Playboy" or "Penthouse", or something similar. But George, George was different...
144b:
See this? This is the fork that I clean out the litter box with. How could you do this? You cleaned my litter fork, you heartless wench!
Ash_Skywalker:
"Veggievitavegamin is GOOD for you!"
Mr_Grant:
Can I interest you in a second helping of fettucine, Mr. Marceau?
Steve_Reeves:
A guy goes to see a Doctor. He says, "Doc, it hurts when I do this!" Doctor says, "Don't do that!"
***Ba-da-BING!!!!!!!!!!***
Thank you! Take my wife, please!
***Rimshot!!!!!***
Wonderful Doctor gave a guy six months to live! Couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months!
***Cacophany of laughter!***
What a crowd!
(Henny Youngman loved to entertain himself at breakfast...)
DiscoBoy:
"Mikey, you little bastard! I'll eat you under the table! I know you'll eat anything, but do you have the guts to take me on? Well, punk? Do ya?"
questor:
"Other than the odd occasion when "fava beans" was the correct answer, Uncle Freddy was the worst charade player in the history of the Wilson Family Reunions."
Reynard_T_Fox:
At first glance, it appeared to be a spoon. But its bowl ended in tines not unlike those of a fork. The possibilities were simply endless, the prospects nothing short of dazzling.
Generik:
Leonard Cielo, charismatic leader of a radical group of nutritionists that eschew food and drink, and call themselves "Breathairians," shows how he gathers all the vitamins, minerals and nutrients he needs just by gulping down a few healthy forkfuls of air each morning. "It's loaded with oxygen, nitrogen, and all the Vitamin D you need!" a smiling Cielo tells reporters. "The only thing to be wary of is getting air that's a little too rich in ozone. That can put a crimp in your day, let me tell you!"
IMissMST3K:
In the San Dimas High School production of "Harvey", the director, Mr. Cramass, tries to show the students how to feed an imaginary friend, he being from the Method school of acting!!
Nyssa23:
"Now in his declining years, Milton Berle often re-enacts some of his most famous comedy routines, sometimes using a fork as a microphone."
Annakie7:
Jack Nicholson's real-life inspiration for his role as "The Joker" was his dad, an accountant who would often fight the airplanes trying to carry strained carrots into little Jackie's mouth.
starkbalmy:
After Charlie Brown turned 50, Lucy stopped trying to get him to kick the football, and was content with stealing his Cream o' Wheat out from under him. It worked every time.
HoneyT:
"Lawrence Welk's lesser known brother, 'LaRouche' Welk, often spent his miserable days cooking up some tasty gibbon-cornmeal for his little grackle buddies."
Shandi:
Early Testing for the Oral version of Laughing Gas ground to a halt today as Dr. Giggles (as he now refers to himself) refuses to allow any other human test subjects access to the new medication... now he laughs at his own jokes, which is a pity, as they are all really bad!
Matteus:
It's sad that he has to practice eating.
IllegalityGirl:
Here we see The Shadow trying to get his alter-ego to eat its peas.
Laurie2K:
If I gave the third degree, I'd mess with people's heads to get stuff out of them - "I paid a lot for that meal, you jerk! Eat it anyway...ALL OF IT!!! and if you still don't want it, you can vomit it out later!" For sure they'd cave.
suggs:
'Oooooooooo...pie.....'
Daleman:
Your the best fork in this whole house. Oh yes you are!
nastinkers:
Hey, nice fork-lift.
Buffoon:
...and for a while they thought the reason Bob couldn't get a date was that his dinner conversation always seemed a bit too rehearsed. Then they realized the reason was primarily... well... Bob's a geek.
AAAron333:
If you knew where my other hand was, you'd be smiling too!!!!
ArchHallJr:
And God said....
"Let there be light. Oh, and let there be Melvin Burdalski, too."
rickubis:
The last surviving Pyle brother, Gormless Pyle, killed himself today in what was apparently a misunderstanding. The evidence shows that he forked himself to death. While many Mayberry residents often commanded him to do something that *sounded* like "go fork himself", this was never their intent.
malaclypse:
"Still life with fruit"
joe678:
Sadly, the "eat air and masturbate" diet did nothing to help correct Harry Von Zell's pronounced overbite, thereby spoiling his hopes of starring in "A Date With Your Family 2" or even the industrial short "Meetings with Miss Manners: The One Hand Under The Table Policy".