Agent_Moldy:
"Arf! Arf!" "NO! I SAID, 'CARP, PIKE, OR C --' ahh, screw it, I'll be at the bar."
144b:
Mildred yells orders at Tad's trained head lice. Located on Tad Fetermyers' head is 75 of the world's only trained head lice. They can spell out words and phrases, & create sculptures using their bodies, ear wax and the hair tonic Tad uses on his scalp.
Generik:
"Mr. Dobbs! Oh, Mr. Dobbs!" "The name's J. R., but you can call me Bob, honey." "Well, Bob honey, all I wanted to say is that I don't think you can achieve slack as long as you're in that position." "Look, dollface, who's the subgenius around here, you or me?"
IMissMST3K:
"I said COUGH!"
Neoknight:
"Hey, honey! I bet you didn't expect the insurance salesman to give it to you up the ass like THIS!!"
Ash_Skywalker:
Joan Crawford screams at Clark Gable to throw out his pipe.
starkbalmy:
"I said, 'Did you know you have a big banana up your ass?'" "What? I can't hear you! I have a big banana up my ass!"
Buffoon:
"I SAID, 'THE TRUMPET GOES IN YOUR EAR, YOU DEAF OLD COOT!' WHY DON'T YOU SUCK IT UP AND SPEND THE MONEY FOR A HEARING AID!!!"
questor:
*shouting* "That's right Bob, ride me like a stallion, plant your seed in my most nether regions" (Welcome to "Porn for the Deaf 101")
Steve_Reeves:
.oO"So, if I hit him juuuuuust right, that thing should jam right up into his medulla ending the rich old bastard once and for all. Barbados, here I come!"Oo.
DiscoBoy:
Over the years, the thunderous roar from Harold's fiery anus had deafened him so much that when the call came from the President to go to Afghanistan to be part of Operation Impotent Justice (his flames would prove very useful in flushing terrorist sympathizers out of desert caves, you see), he had to hire an assistant to shout the proper coordinates to him. One time, he misheard the numbers and burned down the Taj Mahal instead. Oops.
Annakie7:
"See if you can scare the wee beasties off my head with some rap beats, dearest!" "Okay, here it goes... hey all you player hatas, you can suck my di-ock!"
ArtMystery:
"Good news, dear! The talent scout says if you can just learn to control the shapes of the smoke rings coming out your ass, you have a real good shot of getting on the Sullivan show!"
"*urrrffff!!*"
Shandi:
(whispering) Honey, you've got a -
(man) What?! I can't hear you, you'll have to shout.
(shouting) YOU'VE got a RIP in your PANTS!
screaming_fist:
"I SAID, HOW'S THE CAMEL DUNG?"
HoneyT:
Woman: "I said....GET YOUR FINGER OUTTA MY BIOLOGICAL BEAN CURD, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"
Man: "Oh, sorry, thought this was Yoplait."
psymorph:
"...96, 97, 98, 99, 100. Good-bye Depression!"
Nyssa23:
"Today on 'The Adventures of Bob Dobbs,' The Almighty Bob visits his proctologist, who will be played by Ann Sothern."
IllegalityGirl:
"Psst! That's Marilyn Manson behind you, not Marilyn Monroe! Better pull up those shorts if ya know what's good for ya!"
abracadaver:
J. R. "Bob" Dobbs gets a spanking from his secretary
malaclypse:
"I said! Take the ear horn out of your mouth! It's got wax all over that end!"
rickubis:
HEY BOB!! YOU'VE TIED YOUR NECKTIE INTO YOUR SHOELACES AGAIN! WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF *SUB* GENIUS? Jeez. Whatta dork.
ArchHallJr:
"And now, Mr. MacMurray, witness the power of this fully armed and operational dildo!"
nastinkers:
Betsy hacks up hairballs daily, and all this time we just thought Ted had a really bad toupee.
Geier:
Few people realize that J.R. "Bob" Dobbs and his inimitable wife Connie were the originators of the Spank-O-Gram.
Laurie2K:
"Cynthia, I was thinking I needed a servant to take care of all my messes... like emptying this pipe for instance... then I realized that sort of servant is called a WIFE!" / "And I'm thinking, Harry... I would refill that pipe with some little beauty that could cut clear through a throat and into the brainstem WITHIN TWO SECONDS FLAT!!!"
Mr_Grant:
"Fight the Commie threat! Fight the Commie threat!" the voices seemed to whisper in the ear of Senator Henry M. 'Scoop' Jackson, D-Wa. But it was only Mamie Eisenhower.
Daleman:
See Pete, anal sex hurts like a mother! And you thought all my thrashing around was from pleasure. Vengeance is MINE!