Agent_Moldy:
*Inhaaaale...exhaaaale...*
"Duck! I am your slaughterer!"
"Dad, NO!"
questor:
"The rest of Rabbi Yendl's family concluded after the Thanksgiving Turkey circumcision that it was time to keep all sharp objects under lock and key"
Steve_Reeves:
"Mo-om! Dad's about to sever his hand again!"
"Now, Dear, you know how much trouble we went through to get your hand reattached last Thanksgiving! Give the knife to me!"
DiscoBoy:
Bob Balaban always had trouble with those "power lunches" at Morton's. That's why he's not a bigger star today.
Buffoon:
"Welcome to Rabbi Goldman's bris training class. Now since we're just beginning today, we'll use a model that's not exactly true to scale. We'll gradually work our way up, or perhaps I should say "down" to a life-size model. Heh, heh... just a little circumcision humor there.... Everybody ready? Good! Let's get started..."
suggs:
Hassan CHOP!!!!
144b:
Da ha! Trying to get the jump on me, eh Mister Goose?! I'll have you know I've studied under the best swordsmen in Heidelbergh! Enguard!
Generik:
The highlight of the annual Sons of the Desert Celebrity Roast had been Ben Turpin catching the knife flung from Pola Negri's nether regions in mid-air... until Fatty Arbuckle and Virginia Dare decided to climb up on the table and show the crowd a few new ways to use a Coca-Cola bottle.
LuvBJones:
Leading me to wonder, what if Freud had just ordered the soup?
Phibes:
As the second knife was about to leave the hands of "The Amazing Kreskin, Sit-Down Knife Thrower," he froze as he looked on with horror at what the *first* knife had done.
BlakHat1:
"Blimey! That Jack the Ripper cuts a mean turkey, do he?" "You think that's good, Guvna? You should see how he is with the ladies!"
starkbalmy:
"Git offa muh yams, ya durn smoochers!"
nastinkers:
"Norman!" "Yes mother?" "I want a thigh and a breast." "No mother, I get the breasts this time." "What are you doing, Norman?" *violin strings screeching*
IMissMST3K:
An obvious latent queen, Virgil pratices his "Off with their heads" on his unsuspecting meal.
HoneyT:
"Who wants foreskin???"
rickubis:
Reach for my drumstick again, and you'll draw back a stump!
Lanzman:
"So, Darth Poultry... we meet again!"
Gowest:
Watson come here! I need you to butter my rolls.
Mr_Grant:
Ms. Bobbitt, are you trying to tell me you've NEVER seen this knife before??? Do you take me for a fool??? Do you take this court, and this honest jury of your peers to be fools??? Court reporter, read back that last part, I liked the sound of it...
Scypha:
At the Skywalker Thanksgiving dinner, father Darth Vader (shown unmasked) would go overboard in carving the turkey.
malaclypse:
Ridley Scott's original dinner scene for "Alien" leaves audiences slightly confused.
abracadaver:
Moishe the Mohel gets a little excited carving the turkey on certain holidays.
Shandi:
"What do you *mean* this is 'Eddy'?"
Annakie7:
And now, You're Shitting Me Theater returns to "My Dinner With Dr. Mengele," already in progress.
Geier:
Perhaps more disturbing than the frenzied enthusiasm with which Dr. Freud turned the VibraMaster 3000 on the helpless fowl was the fact that he didn't even remember to change the batteries first.
joe678:
Mitch Miller's ill-timed audition for "The Threepenny Opera" almost ends in disaster: "Mitch! No! The @#\$%& knife is supposed to be "out of sight"!!!" o/' "Und das messer.......zieht man nicht...." o/' "Thank you, NEXT...."
GlitterRock:
"Whomsoever pulleth this knife from thine Butterball will rightwise rule all of England ... and pass the potatoes."