Agent_Moldy:
I was sold on this lamp...it would've been the perfect addition to my collection...until the dealer told me how to turn it on...
bugwber:
"I'm headed to the San Francisco Caption Festival!" *grrrrrrrr*
144b:
It's Tony Randel in, Robert Maplethorph's. Now I Wanta Be Your Dog.
questor:
Lord knows the kids didn't want to do it, but it was the only way to keep Grandpa from licking himself when company came over.
Steve_Reeves:
Few people realize the lengths Brando went to in order to get the role of Vito Corleone...
suggs:
'One-fitey! Lorraine only charges me \\$75! Is there some kind of a union I can complain to?'
Buffoon:
Unlike his distant cousin, the Mexican Hairless, The French Riviera Beach Hairless is NOT a lap animal!
SpydieGirl:
Man has finally learned how to lick himself and won't leave the house. Women have figured out thwart man's new ability.
MrBungle:
.oO~Great. I *finally* figure out how to lick my balls and my wife goes and does this to me. Bitch.~Oo.
DiscoBoy:
Dick Cheney is having a hard time adjusting to the Bush White House.
Beedo:
Uncle Fester is WAY in over his head
Batqueen:
Wilbur didn't know what he was getting himself into when Martha asked him if he was into S&M...;
TeekieT:
"Dad?"
teambanzai:
Next on the E True Hollywood story: I Love Lucy; Fred and Ethel's personal life goes public.
nastinkers:
I'd smack him with a rolled-up newspaper, but that would just turn him on. *shudder*
Generik:
Uncle Mort insisted that his satellite dish got better reception and more channels than digital cable, but no one had the courage to visit his home to find out.
Lanzman:
"Hey, it gets me free HBO, so shaddap!"
WEIRD_1:
Nude full contact employee harassment. Just another great idea I had.
Mr_Grant:
The veterinarian explained it "would keep him from licking it." DON'T ask.
Annakie7:
Whatever had gotten into Frank's ears, the doctor decided to put a special collar on him to keep him from digging in them. But Frank knows that there are other ways to get at those wee ear beasties...
Geier:
...but Ethan's hopefullness at the self-described dog-lover's computer dating profile was greatly lessened when he saw the thrice-cursed phrase "No fats or fems" at the bottom.
starkbalmy:
Not many people ordered the Special Deluxe Tor Johnson Sugar Cone Spectacular -- and those few that did never ordered it again.
Shandi:
At the Marlon Brando Pet Adoption Agency, we will adopt no Pet before its time.
abracadaver:
"I'm busy spanking my grandpa right now." "Am I to understand that your grandpa was a bad boy today?" "Yes, indeed. First he was messing with the paper clips, then he thought he could use the copy machine all by himself"
LuvBJones:
If you think this is bad, wait 'till they express his anal glands!
HoneyT:
"Introducing the newest creation by RCA...the BALD BIRTHDAY BALLS BOOM BOX! Complete with truss, belly-button lint, and enema kit."
JediClone:
.oO(Sheesh, the things a guy's gotta do to get a flea bath...)Oo.
Scypha:
And another poor dog is transformed to a human by the magical spirit water in that second Ranma movie (Nihon My Concubine).
Nyssa23:
"That'll teach him to bite his toenails."