Agent_Moldy:
"Now come over here behind the school and let me show you my 'swallow valve'..."
DiscoBoy:
Danny Elfman, Sr., shows that his son wasn't the first bandleader with a horn section to love little girls....
bugwber:
"That's a nice Euphonium, Mister... but personally, I prefer the sackbutt. Do you have any around here?"
144b:
Musical inventor Prof. J. Alsis Whorselips displays at the 1933 Chicago Worlds Fair, his new pice of carnal instaments, The Sexamephone.
Buffoon:
"Now that you've seen my bassoon, you wanna see my flute?" "No thanks, but if you had a piano, I'd be jealous." "A piano? What is this, a case of pianist envy?"
Batqueen:
"Hmmm... yep, everything looks up to code here. No violations. Move along. Next!"
Steve_Reeves:
Seamus O'Donohue was always famous for the mellow, throaty tone he got from his baritone horn. Here we see his secret: He had his niece puke down the bell before each concert.
Lanzman:
"It works equally well for urine and saliva! I'll be rich!"
IMissMST3K:
Little known fact, Glen Miller's orchestra was made up of Respiratory Therapists.
nastinkers:
This wasn't the first time Suzy had to blow Uncle Jim's horn.
teambanzai:
Dr. Marty "Party" Johnson shows one of his music appreciation students his latest innovation: the beer bong/bong. Whether it be booze, pot, or both, nothing says party like this little baby. Coming soon to a head shop NEAR YOU!
BlakHat1:
Behold Vlamphir, master of the Smellophone! Not available in Stores! Sorry no COD's.
Generik:
Donald watched in awe as Bernard, smooth as always, convinced yet another youngster to peer deep into the twisted instrument in which he kept his soul. Suddenly, a flash of inspiration hit Donald. "That's it! A soul! I gotta get me one o' those."
WEIRD_1:
Grand-Pa really enjoys showing the young ladies just how horny he is.
Annakie7:
"Here kid, take a whiff of this. First one's free, you know. Hey, are those your little friends over there?"
NightTrain:
"Very good, Sara! Now you're all set to greet Mr. Clinton."
MrBungle:
"You ever seen a spit-valve cleared before? Here, get a *real* good look now..."
Scypha:
"Alright, Julie. Now if you'll just spit in this tube, I'll tell you your fortune for the next thirty years."
abracadaver:
.o0 Thank god he wasn't speaking in metaphor when he asked me to sniff his instrument.
flappersquirrel:
Due to a growing tolerance to Ritalin, many public schools have begun giving out bong hits to calm hyperactive students.
UnReality:
"You see, Horace? I told you these would work better than your silly mind-controlling sousaphones!"
Shandi:
What happens if you blow in *this* end -- do the notes you play come out the other end in *reverse*?
LuvBJones:
LuvBJones fails to understand the concept of PrideFest.
Nyssa23:
"Got your nose."
Geier:
Little Peggy had never before savored the pungent and distinctive aroma of chewing tobacco, Efferdent, and bubble gum, combined with what can only be called "old man smell". But as she vomited profusely into the gaping, maw-like cavity before her, she knew that now, Mr. Pennywhistle would also have a "special smell" by which to forever mark the incident.