Agent_Moldy:
"I know what you're thinking. Did he give me two scoops of carrots or only one? Being as my hand is _this_ close to your hind end, and will beat you 'til you can't sit down if you don't eat, you've got to ask yourself one question:
'Do I feel hungry?' Well, do ya punk?!"
Buffoon:
"When I was a boy, we were so poor we could only afford one meal a day. Not one meal per person, one meal. We drew straws. One would eat the meal, and the rest would live vicariously through that person's experience. It was kind of like when the screengrabber's busted, and somehow magically one person gets a picture to cap."
144b:
Look everybody! Little Ignatz has the ferret's tail in his soup!! That means you get to go through Papa's beard with the ferret's tooth comb to find the cæsh of høchinberries candies!
Mr_Grant:
"Eaaaaaaaaat, Bobby, EAAAAAAAAAT!"-- The McRepressed family of Grand Rapids, MI pulls together to help Junior with his little anorexia problem. Meanwhile, Mister Fluffkins realizes the table scraps market will be closed for a while. "Time to pack my bags and find me a new family of suckers," he thought.
animebabe:
In accordance with family tradition, the one who finds Grandpa's teeth in the chicken loaf is this year's sacrifice. We're sure the whole family will miss little Billy.
nubtlerdidit:
"Now, Bobby, don't be squeamish; you're twelve now, and it's your turn to perform the Sunday Sacrifice. The fact that this kitten has been a pet to you should be no matter." "But Dad! (whimper) ... this scalpel is TOO SMALL!"
bugwber:
Billy began honing his circumcism skills at an early age, much to the delight of the rest of the family.
DiscoBoy:
.oO(God damn them. God damn them all! I'd wish them all into the cornfield for making me eat this slop. Unfortunately, there is no more cornfield because they cut it down to make this God-awful creamed corn cassarole. God damn them all!)
Lanzman:
The family watched in amusement as Timmy discovered, all by himself, where Spot the family dog had disappeared to three days before. Puff the cat, of course, was the very picture of innocence.
Nyssa23:
"And Van Gogh himself carved the roast beast."
Annakie7:
Dr. Freud believes that little Billy's sexual repression therapy should be a family affair. Here we see the doctor showing Billy how to savor his phallic carrots and firm, round peas.
teambanzai:
Seen here as a child, Jerry Brown finds a Mediterranian Fruit Fly in his soup, never knowing till many years later the irony.
Generik:
The whole family waited with eager anticipation little Bobby's pronouncement on each night's dinner, for he had been elected the final arbiter of "good" and "bad" in the Arbuthnot household. As they held their breath, he finally spoke: "I say it's spinach, and I say the hell with it!" Mom was crushed, Betty Ann began sobbing quietly to herself, and Uncle Edgar leaned in close to see if it was, indeed, spinach.
Nastinkers:
Little Jimmy's career in Scatology begins.
joe678:
(off camera) "And now, comrades, it's time once again for Svetlana's Family Dinner Theater! This week's movie: 'Songs of Lenin'! We'll be right back after this word from Treasure Hut!"
abracadaver:
The family wait breathlessly to see if little Timmy will notice the pure opium paste in his food tonight. If he likes it, they can have that Strip Twister and Crisco party they've been talking about with no chance of discovery!
Geier:
Doctor Freud's comment that "Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar" confused the Smiths, especially since none of them smoked. But at least he wasn't calling them all "polymorphously perverse" and claiming they envied his penis...