Agent_Moldy:
Kids! Get your "Rube Goldberg's 'My First Electric Chair'" today!
bugwber:
Robert Reich sure has fallen on hard times...
Buffoon:
The invention failed, Floyd's Barbershop thrived, and all was well in Mayberry for years after, but every once in a while, Andy would hear, "The horror! The horror! Get it off me!" from the back cell, and he knew that DTs were the least of Otis' problems.
144b:
He must be listening to, KLIP-AM! The All Hair Cut Station!
DiscoBoy:
Rube Goldberg, electrostatic mohel -- of the future!
Ragbot:
"Generik gets a bit too high tech with 'Rock, Scissors, Paper'...."
rickubis:
California lawmakers announced today that they have abolished the death penalty. Hardened criminals will now be sentenced to the "electric beard trimmer". Human rights groups have already filed protests.
BlakHat1:
Now THIS puts a whole new spin on the capital punishment debate, doesn't it?
Mr_Grant:
The Amish cast off their tradition of separatism and simplicity, boldly marching into the... mid-20th century. Oh well.
Lanzman:
Alas, it took only the momentary distraction of a passing child sticking his tongue out for Doctor Remulak's Atomic Radio-Controlled Beard Grooming Engine to be consigned to the dustbin of history.
Nyssa23:
The Death of Rube Goldberg.
teambanzai:
Harry "Crazy Legs" Finklestein demonstrates one of many uses for his home circumcision/rhinoplasty/beard/everything trimmer.
Geier:
September, 1954. Herbert M. Norelco makes history with the first of what would eventually become an entire line of men's hair-grooming accessories.
Humoriste:
"In today's news -- Bearded man broadcasts sound waves of his morning grooming routine -- in related news, SETI reports receiving daily broadcasts that appear to be intelligent and extra- terrestrial in nature."
Generik:
After all that unpleasantness with Congress and the failed Supreme Court nomination, Judge Robert Bork, along with silent partner C. Everett Koop, found a measure of fame and success as the beloved Radio Barber.
Steve_Reeves:
In the interest of saving space in his house, inventor Jochen Fleener shows off the Audiotrim, his way of trimming his beard and entertaining his family at the same time. Unfortunately, on it's first use, the Audiotrim electrocuted Mr. Fleener and all neighbors within a quarter mile radius...
MrBungle:
Ostracized by the Mennonites for his invention of the Coupon-O-Matic automated coupon cutter, Jedediah is working on his next invention, the Ye Can Kiss My White Amish Ass-O-Matic (patent pending).
abracadaver:
The Rosenheimer AutoBris Machine also functions as a beard trimmer, a toast extractor (but only once), and can cut the little 'Do Not Remove' tags off of mattresses.
Nastinkers:
A common misconception--this is actually the "Auto-Bobbit" machine, not an automatic beard trimming machine. Copyright 1997 Lorena Bobbit Inc.
nashbrutusandshort:
"Originally I was working on an automated circumcision machine -- I was going to call it the Rab-bot -- but the technology of the day was too imprecise, and the field tests. . . well, I don't want to talk about it. So I adapted the design to this beard trimmer. As God is my witness, the Rab-bot's day will come, though."
Ash_Skywalker:
After years of talking too long on the radio, those annoying hosts of pop-rock music stations get prepared to have their tongue's lopped off.