Agent_Moldy:
The Passion of Ernest and Julio Gallo
144b:
Stand aside, infidels! Make way, make way for the ceremonial Apple Brown Betty!
DiscoBoy:
Archaeologists today unearthed what they believe to be the kegs used by Theonicles and the other brothers of Sigma Alpha Epsilon at their first pledge party in 329 B.C.
questor:
Teresa Heinz Kerry accepts her scheduled shipment of Botox.
Lanzman:
Section by section, sweaty overworked CIA employees assemble the Giant Cigar of Doom in their latest plan to assassinate Fidel Castro.
JurassicPork:
*cue tender music* Every year, Home Depot sponsors Olympic athletes, such as these middle-distance corpse-haulers from New Mexico.
Buffoon:
Sure, other people had the beer concessions or the hot dog concessions, but deep in his heart, Mark knew that the "big barrel of dried peanut butter" concessions was the wave of the future.
Steve_Reeves:
"OK, look, you guys aren't taking this seriously enough. Nestor, stop singing 99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall, and Jose quit laughing!" "You guys are supposed to be suffering godamnit!"
Daleman:
"Hey buddy, got a light?"
Generik:
It's a well-known fact around Milwaukee that they won't even sing the National Anthem until Bud Selig's buttplug is firmly in place.
lil_amish:
The Iraqui Ministry of Defense continues its practice of picking up every single weapon of mass destruction and taking it to another soccer field to conceal... only minutes ahead of US troops and inspectors! Clever, clever Ministry of Defense!
Motis:
CHOCOLATE. IT'S NOT JUST FOR BABIES AND AZTECS.
A message from the Chocolate Council
starkbalmy:
Got wood?
chilwil:
Ultimately, it was decided that "Bring Your Own Keg Day" was not a well thought-out idea for the Athletics-Rangers game.
gleeb:
Protestors in the March Against Atheriosclerosis carry the now familiar giant puppets.
ArtMystery:
Letting the Yanomamo Indians run the concession stands at Estadia Brasilia proved to be more difficult than was first anticipated; but once the crowd began hallucinating visions of their team defeating the fire-spitting winged serpents, no one really cared any more.
JoeCrow:
Although extremely gifted in miniaturization, Asians still haven't been able to master Jack's Crap.
cambria36:
"Large numbers of men depart the First Annual Viagra Convention in Miami Beach with more wood than they can carry."
nashtbrutusandshort:
As the Generalissimo's mushroom use increased, more and more the junta lost touch with economic reality -- though plans for a tiki-based economy went forward, albeit in the face of mounting popular resistance. "Get a move on, you dogs! These tikis won't bring about the workers' paradise unless you carve 'em first."
WEIRD_1:
The Crusher discovers that it is LOTS easier to run 5 miles a day with a beer barrel on his shoulder when the beer is in his belly.
Racerex:
Once a month, the Lilliputians had to organize a detail to clean up all of Gulliver's cigarette butts.
nastinkers:
And people wonder why soccer games get so out of hand...
Shandi:
Is it me, or is this the beginning of the world’s largest pot of beanie weenies?! Hold me, I’m scared…
Jacksinn:
"Hey, buddy, over here! I ordered the short round!"
Nyssa23:
"Laborers in third-world countries work long hours to produce 'special supplements' for Barry Bonds in his pursuit of the home run record."