Agent_Moldy:
Awwww...*sniff*...what a handsome groom Tom Ridge's son makes.
questor:
This is not going to help Howard Dean's consideration for Kerry's running mate.
Mr_Grant:
"The reason I keep insisting that there was a relationship between the wasps and al Qaeda is because there was a relationship between the wasps and al Qaeda."
144b:
The U.S. Office of Homeland Security Presents, The Adventures of Duct Tape Man! Once a mild mannered civil servant at the Bureau of Weights & Standards, in charge of glues and adhesives, Mr. Ernie Wallondon, while testing an unknown form of packaging tape, suddenly was transformed into Duct Tape Man!
meQal:
Bachelor # 1 Lives in his mother's basement, likes to watch shows with aliens, knows the Vulcan language, and is really into duct tape.
DiscoBoy:
"I'm ready to vote, honey!"
Lanzman:
"Where did you put the extra diapers, hon?"
Steve_Reeves:
Cleaning the toilet was serious business in Neville's house...
Buffoon:
ALMOST enough "protection" for sex with
(a) Madonna,
(b) Paris Hilton
or
(c) Brittney Spears.
Kota:
"Prevention For BODY AIDS" - (Which you can get just by being AROUND a**holes)
Generik:
Publicity still from the rarely-seen Russ Meyer film "Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Exterminators."
TyranosaurisRex:
Thank you. Next please. <Auditions for the part of Gort in "The Day the Earth Stood Still" were brutal.>
Shandi:
"But I *always* dress like this when cleaning out my bathroom!"
WEIRD_1:
Klatuu discovers the sexual wonders of duct tape.
starkbalmy:
Gemini, 35, into health care, space exploration and entomology. Favorite song: Rocket Man, by Elton John. Seeks like-minded female, 21-40, interested in cocooning, safe sex and shooting for the stars. Call extension 2579, ask for Buzz.
cambria36:
"Okay, honey. I'm ready to change the baby's diaper."
ArtMystery:
"And this is supposed to make the Homeland more secure HOW, exactly...?"
Racerex:
When The Boy in the Plastic Bubble decided to become a super-hero, he had to come up with a very practical costume design ...
UnReality:
"This is so cool! This is gonna be the best Racer X costume at the whole convention!"
Chebby:
Typical South Texas Summer
"Well, I'm ready for the backyard cookout dear. Those Culex mosquitoes won't get me! You want barbeque sauce on your burger?"
amycamus:
"Don't TELL me we haven't improved things. For example, just look at this fella! No electrical wires, no snarling dogs - and he's not even buck-naked! Now come along and I'll show you the cafeteria."
gleeb:
Well, if you'd taken the garbage out when I told you to…
nastinkers:
After the Ebola scare, Jim was extra cautious when opening his mail.
chilwil:
According to Tom Ridge, it is best (in the case of amphibious assault) to quickly seal off all entrances so the little croakers can't climb in.
JoeCrow:
Ready for your PAP-Smear Ms. Maddona?
Nyssa23:
"Let's give it up for Mr. Homeland Security 2004!"
Cyberbeast:
No one enjoyed the smell of his own farts more than Reggie.
Beedo:
Franklin Richards grew up to become "The Human Blue-Tip Match" in the newly rechristened "Fantastic Five." He was soon after eaten by Galactus. And there was much rejoicing.
Daleman:
"… able to leap entire Dungeons and Dragons game boards in a single bound!"
Geier:
From the brochure: "The Model S4 ('Super Safe Sex Suit') doesn't so much prevent viral or bacteriological transmission to the wearer during sex as preclude the possibility of the wearer ever GETTING sex in the first place. Available in three color schemes: Nerd, Geek, and Dweeb."