Agent_Moldy:
"Hey, foxy chick! You like my sexy mask? You come back to my place, go boom-boom, no? I am a wiiiiiild and ca-razy guy!"
Buffoon:
"Now cough."
questor:
The anonymous molester continued until someone cried fowl.
Mr_Grant:
Most Thankless Jobs, a continuing series. #5280: Poultry Rectal Temperature Technician, World Health Organization Avian Flu Project, Jilin Province, China.
Lanzman:
Sometimes, late at night on third shift, Irving would reflect on the wisdom of bluffing against Frank Purdue in a high-stakes poker game when all you held was a pair of eights.
tinaw:
You know, at this point, even a job taking chicken rectal temperatures seems better than mine.
144b:
Here we see Poultry Man inspecting his minions as he plans to wage battle against The Fowl Army lead by the military mad man Col. Sanders. Stay tuned for the next turgid episode of Poultry Man & Pullet Boy!
WEIRD_1:
See, this is what happens when I tell my wife that what I really wanted for Valentines Day was to be the only man in a room full of young chicks.
starkbalmy:
After six hours, Mark began to wonder if his thermometer was working correctly. He'd been through nearly the entire room and had yet to find one really hot chick.
cambria36:
"Why foolrish Americans worry 'bout chicken flew? We Asians know chickens no fly."
ArtMystery:
The awful truth behind Egg-Beaters™...
Shandi:
He's looking for the Golden Ticket, and a chance to visit the enigmatic Col. Sanders McNugget Factory for a tour with the Colonel and his assistant, Mayor McCheese.
Racerex:
"Terry's degree in medieval literature really didn't prepare him for a job administering enemas to baby chicks."
gleeb:
The Phillie Phanatic can't last forever, and so the search for a replacement begins...
nastinkers:
I had heard they changed the McDonald's chicken nuggets...
Jacksinn:
Peeps Quality Inspector #243: Vincent Massey. Enjoys long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners, Easter Monday and stain-resistant microwave ovens.
Nyssa23:
"Okay, now cough!"
Geier:
"Well, that's 3,429 chick rectal exams down and only 2,157 to go. So, who's next...? Ah, here's a lovely little...wait, I already did you, didn't I? Or did I...? Maybe it was you over there? Or maybe...uhm...I think I...er...oh, sh*t..."
Daleman:
Duck, duck, duck, GOOSE!
joe678:
"McCloud! McCloud! Bird doo-doo! Bird doo-doo! Goddamn bird shit! McCloud! Are you happy in your work?"
DiscoBoy:
Witnessing the success of Rocky Mountain Oysters, ranchers developed what would come to be called "South Pomona Oysters."
chilwil:
Designer chicken cuisine. Pick yours at birth.
Matteus:
Jose finds the one chick that didn't wipe after taking a crap.
Phibes:
"Can I keep it, George? I will love it, and pet it, and... Uh-oh... Um, can I keep *this* one, George? I will love it, and pet it, and..."
flavio:
"I warned you about what The Colonel would do to you if you continued to be subversive, Señor Pollo."
Generik:
The hardest part of instituting the new Chinese menu at McDonalds was inserting those little slips of paper in the Fortune McNuggets.