Agent_Moldy:
<Offscreen>"What? DON'T eat the fire? Oh no..." "What're we gonna do?" "Shh...let's not say anything just yet. Maybe he won't notice we tattooed the wrong crib notes on his hand..."
144b:
This man has gotten the whole birthday party routine completely backwards. He blew out the cake & ate the candles. (LAME!)
chilwil:
When Slave To The Needle f*cked up MY tattoo, all I did was go out and get drunk.
questor:
Frankly, I would have gone with "Its just a cold sore"
Buffoon:
Ever since “Diff’rent Strokes” was cancelled, Gary Coleman will do anything to try and regain his fame.
DiscoBoy:
His sideshow fire-eating act going nowhere, Suharto decides to go into politics.
Generik:
The product of an unspeakable menage-a-trois between Jack B. Nimble, Jack Sprat and Jack O'Lantern demonstrates yet again why such unions are a really, really bad idea in the first place.
screaming_fist:
A traditional Indonesian remedy for canker sores involved this and a soothing drink of blood afterwards.
IllegalityGirl:
Ohh, no, Hon. I said, "Blow *out* the candles." Out.
HoneyT:
Ray Charles, NO!
Forkboy:
"I *MUST* protect the formula for the secret sauce!"
ArtMystery:
The latest Asian product to become a smash hit in US markets is this unorthodox combination teeth-brightener and bikini wax, known in Malaysia as Balayang Bang Saag, which roughly translates in English to "Eat Fire, Barbarian Devil, Then Remove All Unsightly Hair From Your Most Sensitive Area In A Way Most Painful."
rickubis:
Stop smoking with our guaranteed one-step negative-reinforcement method! Call now!
Propdude:
"Dude! Just get a paper shredder!"
starkbalmy:
o/`"Come on baby lick my fire..."o/`
Nyssa23:
"Unsuccessful Herpes Cure #194"
evetsggod:
Well, I guess he probably doesn't know to pass it to the left-hand side, either....
Annakie7:
Oh sh*t, the cops... hide that blunt, Haji! Yeah, swallow it, damn it!
LauraPowers:
Candle-eating crib notes? You should be ashamed of yourself.
Beedo:
Kills 100% of the germs that cause bad breath. And 10% of customers who use it.
JoeCrow:
Fungoo learned too late that the "Super Nuclear Suicide Buffalo Wings" were not for the faint of heart.
juxstapo:
Our marketing analysis suggests this is an atypical reaction to Vanilla Coke. Diet Vanilla Coke commonly causes the subject to replace the candles with a Glock 9.
Matteus:
Need a Clorets sir?
nastinkers:
Honey, the point is to BLOW OUT the birthday candles!
Mr_Grant:
I AM THE GOD OF HELL-FIRE!!! AND I BRING YOU- o/ Heartburn <do do-do, do do do> Heartburn
Tumbler:
...oooOOO heh This year they won't be giving me any more of that crappy < Ha Ha... the Dalai Lama doesn't get his wish this year... AGAIN ! You silly hatted Doofus!!! > I hate Tibetans almost as much as I hate those Commie invaders. Bastards all.
..ooOO Did I say... or just think that?
BlueOnBlack:
Hamid Karzai, apparently forgetting that his little corner of Kabul is "free", celebrates his birthday at the local "Taliban Times" family restaurant...
Geier:
Tibetan dentists often use gently-scented candles to cauterize the wound after pulling a tooth. This helps prevent infection as well as inducing an immediate experience of satori, the sudden, blissfully ecstatic moment of complete enlightenment in which one recognizes his or her own spiritual identity with the infinite reaches of the universe. ...Assuming the patient can cover the co-pay, of course.
Motis:
"Wrongway" Chan suffers intense culture shock shortly after successfully blowing his birthday cake off the table.
Chebby:
Having heard the phrase "fight fire with fire" somewhere along the line, Jan Po attempts to fight heartburn after a trip to Poncho's Mexican Buffet.
flavio:
"Hey American Jackass Show! Put me on your TV! Gowmmph."
Daleman:
Uncle Felix never enjoyed kissing Aunt Ester.
Lanzman:
Kofi Annan attempts to purge his tongue of the memory of his first taste of a Chicken McNugget. No wonder the UN hates America.