Agent_Moldy:
"What's this?"
"He calls it, 'Glass, Grass, or Ass, Nobody Rides for Free'."
"But isn't it supposed to be 'gas', grass or ass?"
"Yeah, but you know performance artists..."
"THIS is 'performance art'? Buncha hippie crap, if you ask me."
"Hey, you're preachin' to the choir, man. Preachin' to the choir."
DiscoBoy:
Good thing that glass is there, or some of the male museum patrons would be tempted to take a running start, if ya know what I mean.
144b:
The hit of the Funeral Expo was, The Visible Grave. Now members of the dearly departed can still view the body through The Grave-Light. Inventor Greg Humverfeild got the idea as he was remodelling his kitchen. He was putting in a skylight and thought the idea of seeing the remains through a five inch piece of clear Kevlar™ sealed over the vault's opening might make death a great fun thing.
WEIRD_1:
Someone want to tell the Fly I've got a waiter in my soup?
questor:
"Didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night"
Steve_Reeves:
"Peasant Under Glass"
Clear Polyurethane and Naked Human Christos
2003
BlueOnBlack:
By far, the worst yet of the new SFChannel promos...
Tumbler:
"Trixie? Now there's a guy nobody's going to find. 'Cause when Gotti's boys make them disappear? They stay disappeared."
"Oh Johnny... you're so cute when you're being careful."
Lanzman:
Enron Plaza took on a whole new mystique once the senior executives had been dealt with.
Generik:
Dexter Higginbotham would have easily won the annual Brainerd Pressed Ham Competition were it not for the wild last-minute entry by a strange character calling himself John Bigbooté.
TyranosaurisRex:
Porn star John Holmes dies in a bizzare incident while attempting to leave his "foot print" and "signature" in wet concrete on Hollywood Blvd.
Jacksinn:
"Here's the piece I wanted to show you, Cheryl. It's by that German guy, you know the one, I forget his name. I think it's called 'The Dirt Nap.'"
"Are you sure this isn't 'Waiting for the Train While Molesting an Anthill'? I think that's what it said in the guide."
"No, I'm pretty sure this is 'The Dirt Nap,' Cheryl."
lil_amish_boy:
"So THAT'S what happened to Phil Collins!"
Motis:
"...and, in other news, researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology announced a startling discovery today: apparently, there ISN'T always room for Jell-O. Back to you, Tom."
chilwil:
Tomb of the Unknown Streaker. (And they came from all over the world to pay homage to this brave, brave, slightly off-balance and never-to-tan-well-again individual, and they made a holiday in his honor, and that's the real reason why no professional sports are played in America the day after the Baseball All-Star Game)
tinaw:
Observers visit the final resting place of the late magician/sleight of hand artist David Blaine. The laws of nature finally caught up with him.
Buffoon:
"Many buffalo come this way.... either that, or the subway to Queens just went by."
nastinkers:
The National Institute for Mental Health launched its twenty-fifth anti-suicide campaign today with the original work by renowned sculptor Andraeas Futochinni, entitled "Naked Man Jumps Off Twenty Story Building..."
starkbalmy:
"In Case of Lowbrow Comedy Emergency, Break Glass, Pull Finger, Stand Back."
flavio:
Robert Downey Jr. is likely to turn up just about anywhere
Shandi:
Is it live, Memorex, or HDTV?!
HoneyT:
Come on down for Mafia Mayhem Mondays... now serving Whackamole on Dry Cement.
ABServo:
Eddie?
Darkvortex:
"Mr. Nixon's last request was to be buried face down in the Nixon Library so everyone could kiss his ass."
Beedo:
Turns out the mob were hiding Jimmy Hoffa in plain sight.
Amon:
"You know, Ethel, I always thought that the glass coffin that Lenin is kept in was mounted a little differently."
ArtMystery:
New on this year's agenda for the X-Games, the Extreme Buns of Steel Exhibition.
rickubis:
The President promised a swimming pool for *every* citizen, and by gosh, he meant it.
abracadaver:
This Caucasianekidsaurus was discovered almost completely intact on a dig in Montana.
Janx:
Some corporate bigwigs are so far above the law that they can unabashedly put the murders they got away with out on public display.
HenryBemis:
No visit to the Judisches Museum-Berlin is complete without a quick stroll up Alte Jacobstrasse to take in Damien Hirst's groundbreakingly original submission for a Holocaust memorial, the very first to contain a real live dead Jew. Tourists will be allowed one snapshot per family.
Geier:
While their discovery of the family patriarch's body - missing these two weeks - in this bizarre circumstance DID answer certain questions, such as "What the Hell happened to Grandpa?", it also raised other, more difficult-to-answer, questions, such as "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO GRANDPA?!!??".
Daleman:
Unanimously, the crowd nicknamed him Art.