Agent_Moldy:
As the minutes ticked by, it began to appear that Sheriff Coltrane really WOULD get them Duke boys this time...and Marvalene was scared. She'd simply HAVE to stay tuned to see the outcome of what was looking like the beginning of a long, hellish existence for Bo and Luke Duke. *sniff* "Those boys don't deserve to spend even one MINUTE in jail!" she wailed. "What are they gonna do?! Wait! A cake! A cake with a file in it! That's what they'll need!" she exclaimed. As the soothing voice of Waylon Jennings assured her that the Dukes would be back after some messages, she hurriedly ran to the kitchen to pay a call on her long-time ally, Betty Crocker...
suggs:
Emeril and Martha?!?! No!!! How could it be?!? Is the anti-christ born?!?
DiscoBoy:
"Oh dear! The Pentuthalons from Sirius 5 are returning to claim their chosen children for the final reckoning! And all I have is red wine to serve with the snapper filets! Whatever shall I do?"
Steve_Reeves:
Bily Mays says I can't get along without Oxyclean, but I really need one of those Ron Popeil plastic wrapping thingies. What'll I do????? Oh, well, guess I gotta sell another one of the kids. Hope Buford doesn't notice...
144b:
It's Haley Mills & Haley Mills! In "Home Alone Clones"!
Ash_Skywalker:
"Pleeeeeeeeeeease tell me that they're cancelling 'American Idol 2'!!!"
Mr_Grant:
Frau Munch, left home alone.
Lanzman:
In that moment of terrible clarity, Eunice realized that Bob Barker was over the hill and "The Price is Right" simply wouldn't be the same without him.
GlitterRock:
Having an Edvard Munch moment during Dr. Phil.
Buffoon:
My GOD!! I didn't think they'd find the body THIS quickly!
questor:
Oh my, I forget. What is the proper temperature to serve brie?
Reynard_T_Fox:
"I told 'em to Sci-fi me...but I was jes' jokin' around... my God, what've I done?!"
Generik:
Over the course of a week and a half, a straight diet of Entertainment Tonight, Cheez Doodles and Extra-Strength Nyquil led Alice to somehow believe that she had a Map to the Stars' Homes imprinted on her face. In Braille.
flavio:
"Heavens to Betsy, now I done it. I told him iffin he got ta drinkin' and pickin' his toenails and yellin' at Ricki Lake on the TV one more time, I'd blow his head clear off, an he went and done it anyway. Lorda mercy how'm I gonna clean this up?"
Motis:
"If he's back on TV," she reasoned, "he must be back in the neighborhood!" Frantic, she reached for the telephone, and within hours the local Home Depot was completely sold out of children's bedroom door locks. The news was out: Robert Downey, Jr. was once again at large.
starkbalmy:
After watching the entire miniseries "Taken" from start to finish, Maureen's cheeks went completely numb from laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.
HoneyT:
Oh no... I forgot to tape The Chevy Chase Show!
TyranosaurisRex:
Spread your fingers just a little more... perfect!! That's perfect honey! Between you and the rabbit ears, the movie is coming in great. Now, just don't move for the next three hours, OK?
Shandi:
A show that requires me to THINK? Can I *do* that? "Honey, do I have any brain cells around? There's this show on that's making me try to THINK!"
ABServo:
ANOTHER episode of "Bram and Alice"??? DYAHHHH!! I'm in HELL!!!
Nyssa23:
"Worst Ideas for Movies #294: 'They're Back Home Alone!', the 'Poltergeist'/'Home Alone' crossover."
Matteus:
"I dreamed I was ordered to get another damn beer by my abusive husband in my Maidenform muumuu."
UpSky2:
.oO Must.... get.... plastic surgery - now!! Oo.
ArtMystery:
"So if Oprah is doing 'Sightings,' and Tim White has a daytime talk show, then... OH MY GOD!! Where is Dr. Phil?!?"
Daleman:
"If Bobby Joe marries Earl that would make Little Clem Earls brother and son! Since Little Clem knocked up Bobby Joe before marrying Earl, which would make Earl father, uncle and sibling to the baby. My goodness, I just can’t stand the suspense. Branson Corners has got to be the best soap opera ever!"
Geier:
"Trepidation", by Calvin Klein. When he calls from the bar to say there'd BETTER not be meatloaf for supper again, just two minutes after you've taken it out of the oven.
Chebby:
"Oh no, did I use Clorox on the sink and Draino in the underwear in the washer?!? It may be OK, it'll probably take Draino to get the skidmarks out of Sam's skivvies anyway. I've got to quit getting so involved in these soap operas. OH! General Hospital is coming on! Now where's that remote? Oh no! I put it in the disposal!! AAAGGGGHHH!!!"