Agent_Moldy:
Sure, it was wrong, copping a feel of Frank the paraplegic's butt, but Jackie Kennedy didn't care. She'd been lonely for too long, what with all her husband's philandering and whatnot. "Besides, it's not like Frank can feel it, anyway!" she'd exclaim.
Ash_Skywalker:
"Wow, people weren't kidding when they said Charlie would act like a big baby if he didn't get the promotion!"
144b:
In lieu of the Christmas bonuses, the CEO of SpannTech-Com offers each employee a chance to fondle his backside for three minutes.
suggs:
An historical re-enactment of how many Arthur Andersen employees were able to escape prosecution.
DiscoBoy:
It's Jim Henson's Masochistic Ineffectual Junior Executive Babies!
Steve_Reeves:
"Woooo! Miss Teitelbaum! I didn't know you cared!"
"Look, Mister, let's get this straight. My name is Trixie and you paid me $500 to pretend I'm blind in an airport lobby and touch your butt. That's it. I'm going home now, OK?"
Lanzman:
Victims of the Enron collapse began to see possibilities for revenge when it was learned that rubbing an Enron executive's tush would cause them to slip into a trance-like state.
questor:
From the people who created "Rescue Heroes" we bring you "Rescue Bureaucrat" with lifelike groveling action.
Amon:
Jackie-O interviews a new limo driver.
Generik:
At the Factory, Andy Warhol's notorious playground for the glitterati, a young, LSD-addled Henry Kissinger does The Worm. "That's perfect, Henry," murmurs Yoko, "now just stay like that until I get the bucket of blood to wash over you."
BlakHat1:
"Mrs. Rice? The Vice President's keeled over in mid-speech again. Does his Secret Service team have any jumper cables?"
rickubis:
When performing CPR, always be sure that the airway is open. No, Ma'am... the airway at the *other* end.
Nyssa23:
"Meanwhile, at Lazy Pickpocket School..."
nastinkers:
Early prototypes for seeing eye dogs
HoneyT:
Woman: "Excuse me, sir? This is a non-contortion zone, I'm going to have to ask you to take that outside."
WEIRD_1:
Yes, those pants do make your ass feel big.
screaming_fist:
Richard Dreyfuss in "Mr. Holland's Gluteas"
AAAron333:
By gently stroking the buttocks of the frightened businessman, this zookeeper is able to coax him back into his natural habitat.
ABServo:
And this is why Bob enjoyed doing the Centipede!
starkbalmy:
"Tag. You're it." After last year's financial debacle, even the junior executives at Enron lived in fear of being subpoenaed, or of being called on the carpet, or of just being tagged "it."
IllegalityGirl:
"Ah, yes. Nicely packed, Bagboy!"
TyranosaurisRex:
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR!
ArtMystery:
"I'm supposed to put the quarter in here? HERE?! Are you SURE?!?"
Janx:
Most corporate execs throw a tantrum whilst in their offices and their mommies aren't around. Clearly, Nigel still had much to learn.
Flavio:
Blanche Ngyuen cautiously steps aboard one of the new Giddyup Horsey Terminal Shuttles now available to passengers at the Cleveland Airport.
Jacksinn:
"Next will you touch my monkey? Please, PLEASE, touch my monkey!!"
Chebby:
In an unprecedented move to meet stringent affirmative action quotas, Northwest Airlines has employed blind baggage checkers to assist with the war on terror. Here, in an added plus, we see one of their pilots after leaving the airport lounge tagged by one of these workers, thus proving the success of the project, and insuring its continuation.
abracadaver:
Some rare women take a lot of license on Secretary's Day.
chilwil:
Lying down in the front lobby, another big corporate executive suffers his government-mandated punishment of being spanked by roving hotties.
Daleman:
Gretchen wouldn’t call it ‘art’ but Chris definitely had a sweet ass.
Geier:
Ah yes, the oft-whispered-about "lost" episode, in which Mary agrees to touch the butt of Ted Baxter's rich, weird cousin Larry in public for a million dollars but then decides she feels too dirty to accept the money, afterward. The whole "don't-touch-peoples'-butts-for-money" moral was deemed a bit "much" for most of the Mary Tyler Moore fan-base prior to airing, so the episode was "accidentally misplaced" in a CBS vault for decades. Ironically, the same basic plot later turned up in an episode of Rhoda, but while the sassy New Yorker was more than willing to accept the money after doing the deed, it turned out to be an elaborate fraud on the part of some not-so-rich-after-all asylum escapee. (Hilarity ensued.)
UpSky2:
The head therapist of the Menopause Relief Physiotherapy Society particularly enjoys the 'Refresh Your Appreciation Of Sexuality By Touching His Ass' aerobics session. Everybody's so eager they form a line.
Chebwa:
Sometimes the world was turned on by more than Mary's smile.
Buffoon:
Proof that even a blind woman will check for the size of the guy's wallet.
BlueOnBlack:
Harvey Korman, sadly hard up for work, attempts to pass himself off as one of Lizzy Grubman's hit & run victims...