Daleman:
With water boarding being phased out terrorists can now look forward to the latest method to extract information: really bad haircuts.
Racerex:
It may look extreme, but it's still the only way to get someone to sit through "Waterworld."
Lanzman:
"I'll teach you to switch to Geico!!"
Generik:
After a few dozen times, Steve got tired of every frat party ending with a reenactment of the torture scene from Reservoir Dogs. Plus, his plastic surgery bills were getting huge, and he was having trouble hearing out of that one sliced-up ear.
BlueOnBlack:
Frank and Bill, disappointed that they were denied entry in this year's Red Blue Flugtag, vow to persevere and hit the dinner theatre circuit with their production of "Talibanalot."
Agent_Moldy:
o/Here's to good friends,
Tonight is kind of special
The body's cold
Always best for me, you know
So tonight, (Tonight)
Tonight, let it be Lovin'bro (Let it be Lovin'bro)...o/
Jurassicpork:
The real reason Obama blocked the torture photos: They were actually stills from KingDinosaur's low budget remake of RESERVOIR DOGS.
bugwber:
Earl's Discount Vasectomy Clinic didn't need no fancy laughing gas or hospitals. Bob soon found out Earl didn't need no knife sharpeners, either.
WEIRD_1:
Frankie always hated getting his hair cut.
Amon:
The REAL way that Phil Collins replaced Peter Gabriel as the lead singer of Genesis.
Geier:
Well, I guess the controversy over who gets to carve the Thanksgiving Day turkey this year has come to a definitive conclusion.
Steve_Reeves:
Uncle Red, I've had just about enough of your shit. "Handyman's secret weapon," indeed! Wait'll I show you a few things I figured out you can do with duct tape!
BuckFifty:
In the news today... American Express is exploring new ways to encourage customers to pay their bill on time...
Seltaeb:
This is the only way to get a good review from a Dane Cook movie.
JMShearer:
Bondage night at Possum Lodge.
da_upstart:
The Taliban Hair Cuttery
scypha:
"Oh quit your complaining, Miguel! You and I both know that the easiest way for us to get into America these days is to ship yourself across the border. Now stay still while I get the bubblewrap."
cambria36:
Once again, Rob Lowe lets his mouth overload his ass.