scypha:
"Now, I know you said you wanted to have a vampire wedding and all that, but I just had to draw the line at consummating the marriage in the coffin. Besides, the stake is in the way for adequate missionary sex!"
Generik:
"Poor Carlene... I told her not to use her teeth..."
Chebby:
Bada-Bing! I told you not to screw with La Familia, but you had to ignore me. Maybe your boss will know who's the real boss now.
Racerex:
"Look, Sharon, I know this is a bad time, but .... Well, I already bought the ring and gave a downpayment to the caterers. I'm not saying this is YOUR fault, but if you had come right out and told me that you were a ... you know, vampire, then maybe my friends wouldn't have reacted this way. What I'm saying is, I think you should at least reimburse me for the ring and caterers...."
flavio:
Does this mean our prom night is over?
Lanzman:
"Shall I run and get you another box of tampons?"
JediClone:
Waiting for the Monolith to come back and evolve them to a high enough cognitive level that they can finish the sawing-a-woman-in-half trick.
DancingQueen:
oo0 - maybe... yes... Oh yes. A second shrub under this arm will attain that two level effect that her loved ones desire.
"Jeremy! Bring me some potting soil and my good trowel."
Kota:
She died at the WalMart deli. and before the ambulance even got there, they had her laid out in a low cost casket and ready for burial in the WalMart cemetery behind the store. Now THAT'S a good deal!
torgone:
Jimmy Kimmel says goodbye to another writer...
DancingQueen:
"Sorry. You were a nice person, but, you know...."
TyranosaurisRex:
Unfortunately, a stake through the heart was the only way to get Hillary to concede to Obama.
WEIRD_1:
I just had to see for myself that the Vampire Queen was really dead this time.
Steve_Reeves:
Dr Van Helsing exclaimed,"A stake in your armpit? I can't believe I fell for the oldest trick in the book!"
*Chomp!* (Bleed) *gulpgulpgulp*
Seltaeb:
She loved her jelly donuts right to the bitter end...
Agent_Moldy:
"Aw dude, sorry I dropped my jelly donut on you. You're not mad, are you? I mean, you're not, right? No? Sweet. You're money, baby. You are SO money!
Oh uh, y'think I could get my donut back?"
Amon:
It's a trap! She's not really staked!
da_upstart:
"Ok, cut the bullshit, Bloodrayne. We know you're faking."
Chilwil (They Call Me Fishstick):
Gesundheit.
cambria36:
Enough of the bullshit, Wanda... are you gonna gimme a blow job, or not?
Daleman:
Psssssstttt! Mary, enough with the theatrics already. I promise not to ask you for anal anymore. But I am still hoping for that threesome with your college roommate that we talked about.
Accountant_From_Hell:
You can't fool me, you ain't dead. That wooden stake isn't through your heart. You're just fool'in. This isn't a real coffin either, it's just an old deep freezer. Although that blood looks real though. Hey, wait a minu..... AAAAAAAhhhhh.... The bitch bit me!