Jazzsoda:
Side effects include neck soreness, social ostracism, and random bouts of tackling. Ask your doctor if HelmetCam is right for you.
keogh:
"...and I have proof of Clinton's transgressions right here, on this camera. No...that's Jesse Helms. Wait...which one has Ashcroft again? Talk amongst yourselves."
teambanzai:
For your information I'm not going to "pork" your daughter. We're out of condoms so the best I can hope for is a blow job.
keogh:
"I'm *sniff* never gonna see my mom again." "It's all right, Pedro, someone will find us. Don't blame yourself." "I don't, ass-munch, I blame you. I mean, who finishes a treehouse without a door?"
JurassicPork:
"Hello, Hanes Tech Support? Yes, it's creeped up another two inches since last night. What do I do?"
keogh:
"Ho, Mr. Tammany. Heave to, they've struck their colors." "This is a chemical plant, Mr. Portman." "And the scurvy dogs at Pfizer shall know me steel!"
keogh:
It was not, as Jimmy Stewart initially thought, what the world would have been like without him, but what the world would be like had Fu Manchu granted Marlon Brando immortality and a bigger appetite.
Generik:
"So, yeah, Toby here and I were married back in, what was it, '03 or '04, Toby?" "It was '04, and it was raining in San Francisco that day, and YOU hogged the umbrella!" "Toby never has forgiven me."
nashtbrutusandshort:
Further proof of my theory that the center of the Earth is, in fact, a gigantic habanero pepper. Oh, but they scoff at the Capsaicentric Theory. They SCOFF.
teambanzai:
Was it wrong of me to tell the Hell's Angeles the Sierra Club said they were all fags?
Ragbot:
Are we lost? I remember this rock from before
keogh:
"Din't we do this minute ago?" "Shut up, Torgo, this here's our chance to make it big in Hollywood. Maybe you're okay getting drowned in quicksand, but I take one more ping-pong ball to the eye..."
Generik:
"But... but Grandma Millie needs her ventilator running!" "Skilling doesn't give a rat's ass about Grandma Millie, and neither do I. Now pull the damn switch!"
keogh:
"...the endless repetition of the timeline through applied temporal science. In other words, it's sweeps week, and our choices are either come up with something good or dress up a turd as an art piece."
carbonbased:
"I come to you for justice, Don Bosco, and you show me a film about typesetting?"
teambanzai:
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz [falls forward] *bonk* ssssqqqqqquuueeeeellll
keogh:
"Hey, do I come to where you work and knock the fries out of your hands? What? Oh, Dr. Hawking...didn't see it was you. Do I come to where you work and knock the voice synthesizer out of your mouth?"
teambanzai:
And then I told Martha my teeth aren't the only thing that got wood right now. And that's when she through me out, so Franklin you think I could crash here?