Zonk:
Possibly the first time a Scotsman's been found chained to something with his clothes still on.
BlakHat1:
What? I can't hear you! There's a hoedown in my kitchen! What's her name?!? What??
Xigeous:
"Tribute to Princess Margaret" caused quite a controversy in the Royal Art Museum due to its lack of elephant manure.
MSTzilla:
<laughter> "We see that the French judge has got her face caught in the ancient Chinese finger trap. She's going to lose face now."
Swingo:
"Try to think outside *ME*!"
Swingo:
Putting "The End" in an empty theater has been brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.
Mr_Grant:
OK, OK-- you caught us on Seattle's ONE sunny day. DON'T move here.
Racerex:
Wow, Magritte finally sold out and started doing commercials...
GlitterRock:
Dom Deluise's dinner theatre performance as Hamlet. "To be or not to be... excuse me, you in the front row, you gonna finish that prime rib?"
Coakley:
"We've really got to do something about those revolting peasants." "Maybe we should let them eat soap... Wait, that's not right."
teambanzai:
You know what would make this rum just smashing? A touch of a carbonated soft drink made from the Coca plant.
Mr_Grant:
~CPA! CPA! Getcher CPA here! ~Yes, I need a CPA. ~Certainly, sir. Accrual or cash basis? ~Accrual. ~Latte while yer waiting? ~Sure.
Mr_Grant:
*Good morning Mr Phelps. Drew Carey is an overexposed comedian from Cleveland, Ohio...*
HenryBemis:
"This dish, it speaks to me in the comforting tones of my mother. I... hate it."
unperson:
"*Please don't eat me.*" "What the-- you talk?!?" "*I have feelings too ya know. Just cuz I'm a burger.*" "Say, can I... ya know--kiss you?" "*ooh--all right, but no tong- *hrmph!*" *lick smooch!*
HenryBemis:
The Emperor of Japan issued a special edict today, quote "I'm still a descendant of the Sun. Don't you forget it. That is all." unquote.
Moatas:
Iron Jaw, the only evil Iron Chef, demands lighting from below.
amycamus:
"Hey Mr. Grant, is THAT the Space Needle??" .oO Oh. My. God. Get me OUT of this friggin' cab now. I can't wait for this weekend to end... Oo.
NurseNoir:
"Power to the people, brother!" .oO ????? Oo.
Agent_Moldy:
"His stillness comforts me." "Her perfect hair and woodenness give me peace." "I am shamed by my chips." 'Mannequin' - the new fragrance by Calvin Klein.
HenryBemis:
Lower environmental standards, untapped population resources, highly cooperative governments all add up to a great place for alien industry.
Mr_Grant:
"Hi, I'm the Noelle Bush of the Shadow Government. I make sure if the worst happens there'll still be an FDA."
Mr_Grant:
"And I'm the Monica Lewinsky of the Shadow Government. My job description... is classified."
UnReality:
"We'd have made them part of the Shadow Government, but I mean, c'mon. They're not rich or white."
Mr_Grant:
"I'm the Shadow Government official in charge of maintaining continuity in the Bush administration's policy on the Homeless. And health insurance reform. And the environment..."
CapMidnight:
Next, on "Dark Shadows Government": Barnabas bin Collins turns Condoleeza Rice into a vampire.
UnReality:
<sigh> "I'm still bummed they canned the whole 'Office of Strategic Influence' idea. If we can't trust our government to lie to us, who can we trust?"