JAUSTRALIS:
Can you believe it... I OWN the wizards... but still have to wear this stupid hat!
Buffoon:
Yeah, I used to have a car like that too.
Generik:
"Hi, I'm Cindy, and I'm a karaoke-holic." *all* "Hi, Cindy!" "And I'd like to do a little number that-" "NO!!!"
MirandaRamsey:
Oh, that was such a cute movie. Wanna go get some fro yo? I really shouldn't, I've used up my Weight Watcher's points for the day...but why not?
Buffoon:
"Welcome to Starbucks, General. How can we help you?" "PR. We need to find out how the fuck you get away with charging $5 for a cup of coffee, when people bitch at our expenditures."
Soozcat:
Last time I was at SeaTac, a Delta "flight representative" took my bag and carried it to the counter for me, and when the woman asks "Has this bag been out of your possession?" I said, "Well..."
Soozcat:
No, you fool, we're entering the Apple Maggot Quarantine Zone! Eat them all now!
Mr_Grant:
*Tommy LaSorda, you are charged with transporting fruit into the Apple Maggot Quarantine Zone. How do you plead?*
Agent_Moldy:
"Den dat Ed Vood, he keep calling me to be in moofie. I tell him my last name Karolyi, not Lugosi, but he not listen. So I haf comrades hang him from parallel bars for a vile. He leaf me alone den."
Soozcat:
"I think they're beginning to suspect. We may have to suspend the experiment for a few months until we get one-way glass installed."
UnReality:
A candelit dinner for two. How romantic. Soft music, good food, a couple of scientists monitoring their behavior from across the room...
tin_of_whoopass:
"So, you're an executive chef. That means you're in charge, right?" "No, I cook and serve executives. Today, for example, we have a nice tender CFO."
UnReality:
"You were in Girls Gone Wild? *I* was in Girls Gone Wild! This is such a weird coincidence!"
eowyn2:
Titanic at age 12.
UpSky2:
[Enquirer article:] Miraculous image of Nazca hummingbird appears on man's swimming pool!
Mr_Grant:
"Rand the rominees rin the rategory "Man's Best Friend" rare... Cats <applause>... Hamsters... <applause>... and Dogs. <applause> Mray I rave the renvelope please...
tin_of_whoopass:
"We've been investigating this whitewater for months and I just don't see what the fuss is all about." "Shut up and paddle, Senator!"
CrazyBob:
Brought to you by YogSoSoth, Destroyer of Worlds, and remember... when you think "Destroyer of Worlds", why not think "YogSoSoth, Destroyer of Worlds."