TurkeyVolGuessingMan:
"Wait a second, a dark horse is emerging from the pack... It's a scrawny guy with a buzz cut wearing a grey suit riding a '53 Schwinn Roadmaster..."
TheDiva:
Be with you in a moment--I've got running crew for my college's production of "Forum"
MirandaRamsey:
Starship Superkegger. A bunch of stupid, drunk preppies going where stupid, drunk preppies have never gone before.
shanky:
"Temporary layoffs....GOOD TIMES!"
Mr_Grant:
We will return to "What If Robert E. Lee Had a Soviet-Bloc Tupolev Combat Helicopter", after these messages.
MirandaRamsey:
"Hmmm, maybe I'll ram through the garage door tonight just to put a little spice back in the marriage."
teambanzai:
Finally the proof that Marisa Tomei didn't actally win the Oscar.
JAUSTRALIS:
And everyone in Dallas had afterglow after Debbie left for the evening.
Generik:
You mean there was more than ONE band with that guy Steve Perry? Yikes!!
TheDiva:
Hollywood Gossip Item #453: Renee Zelwegger and James Marsters were seen clubbing last night...
CrazyKDawg:
Finally..... HE PICKED UP HIS SOCKS!!!!!!!!!! HEAVEN!!!!!!!!!
TheDiva:
Basicus Instinctus.
Generik:
"In exciting Ancient World Cup action, it was Babylon 5, Sumeria 3. And now let's get the Magic Finger weather..."
Generik:
"God, it creeps me out when Billy Idol sings Eyes Without a Face."
TheDiva:
(choreographer's voice offscreen) POINT THE TOE, DAMMIT, POINT THE TOE!!!
EnochF:
"Do you really think the U.N. Security Council can save us from cancellation?"
Mr_Grant:
What are YOU laughing at? They're utility belts, just like on Batman. Well when you need any smoke capsules or laughing gas antidote, don't come crying to me.
EnochF:
"You're a loose cannon, Apollo! You risked your neck and the lives of every man on the force!" "C'mon, Chief, give him a break..."
YetiMan:
"Today's Video Jeopardy answer is... Not Milton Berle." *BING* " 'Who the hell is this' Alex?" "Correct. It was Martin Landau."
Mr_Grant:
The new president of the Lollypop Guild urges the membership to vote for the proposal to ally with the Teamsters.
Generik:
"Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and I built this chair out of nothing but pine nuts and the internal organs of people who crossed me."
Generik:
"Cancer, huh? Well, uh, gee... Mr. Gingrich told me that this would be the best time to ask you for a divorce!"
Generik:
"Dude, that was great! Now just sign this release, and look for yourself next Friday night on Fox! Oooh... careful you don't get blood on the contract..."
Buscocharlie:
As you see, the German forces invaded Poland with a swiftness not seen since Alexander the Great...
Mr_Grant:
Well, I guess Boeing left.
TurkeyVolGuessingMan:
Another bitter day in the locker room of the Washington Generals...
Generik:
"Set chopsticks to 'dim sum'..."