GersonK:
"We've got a full tank of gas, half a bag of cheetos, it's bright out, we're wearing sunglasses, it's 2 miles to the junior high, hit it."
HenryBemis:
Welp, bought this time them ol' Duke boys were in need of hip replacement...
LuvBJones:
Sting can have sex for 16 hours. The server takes 30 seconds to load. If Sting starts having sex at 12:30, how many caps can he enter before climax?
EnochF:
Now, now, just because I happen to think Windows 98 is the greatest operating system ever made is no reason to call me names...
Mr_Grant:
Hi, I'm LL Cool J. You know, it's not always good to be cool. That's why I use Johnson Space Heaters...
Hinermad:
Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray Thee, Lord, a man to keep. If there's a man beneath my bed, I pray he's heard each word I've said!
EnochF:
"Look to this day, graduate..."
EnochF:
"Congratulations, Mister... uh, Chis-wikki-nikka-vich, or whatever." "It's C-z-i-c-h-w-i-k-z-a-n..." "Aw, forget it. Here's your diploma."
Mr_Grant:
Other phrases trademarked by Young & Rubicam: Honey, what's for dinner; how much to tear up that ticket officer; you kids get offa my lawn.
amycamus:
"That'll teach 'em to siphon customers from *MY* slots. Never liked that stupid Luxor sphinx anyway..."
Loodvig:
How Giuseppie Selano eats a Reese's...
EnochF:
"I could write up an ad for your station, then dress it up with some lovely... photos."
EnochF:
o/ And I'm hungry like the wooooooolf... o/
EnochF:
There is no Department 6. There never has been a Department 6. Any declarant confirming the existence of Department 6 will be terminated by Department 6.
Hinermad:
"FRAN!" "Huh? Who's that?" "IT'S THE LORD, FRAN. I NEED A NICE JEWISH VIRGIN TO BEAR MY SON. YOU ARE A VIRGIN, RIGHT?" "Um... ahhh... well..." "CLOSE ENOUGH."
Hinermad:
"Mr. Burns, there's a representative of the EPA to see you." "Excellent! Feed him to the pirhanas." "The tank is full." "Oh, screw him then." "Yes, SIR!"
Mr_Grant:
~Please Don Vito, I come to you now, humbly, to ask you to do something about these cappers. ~The capos? Of the 5 Families? ~No, capPERS...
Generik:
"You don't worry about me, there, Mr. Cruz, or Pablo or whatever your name is... you just go try to find your place in the sun."
ShakeNEgg:
"Beldar has message from the future for the present cast of Saturday Night Live! Suck my cone! There! Already funnier than anything you have to offer."
DarkOracle:
Mary Magdelene and Jesus pose at the Old Fancy Dress Booth...
Soozcat:
"Nah, I love it here. Three squares a day, plenty of hoops, and they let me out once a week to tape 'Ally McBeal.'"
LuvBJones:
My career!! I've got to save what's left of my career!! *sweep* *sweep*
Generik:
"Hmmm... sounds like... secretaries. Maybe six, seven of them. Be here by nine AM."
Hinermad:
Do you like to draw? If you can draw these Nazi generals, you could become a sketch artist at the Nuremberg Court Artist's Institute!
cscott:
"...and you better bring your Visa card. Because at The Equine Bordello, they never put the cart before the horse, and they don't accept American Express..."
TurkeyVolGuessingMan:
*car will not actually answer phone*