Laserblast:
Yeah, I called. Hallmark seems to feel my writing style is too "bitter" and "sarcastic" for freakin' greeting cards.
deathmonkey:
"......what's going on?......what am i doing here?........who are you?......where's my heart medicine?"
teethum:
Watch this, he's gonna kiss those fingers and pull 'em away Puff Daddy style.
Laserblast:
"Cats is the ass-kickingest musical ever! So there!"
MirandaRamsey:
Carleton's library: An entire set of Harlequin romances.
a_mountain_goat_:
here are the ultra-scans.....wow....it looks human this time!
teethum:
The only butt worth lookin' at is a Karn butt.
teethum:
Well. There you have it. A hollowed-out Sanyo security monitor.
teethum:
I'd like to take some time now to read a saucy little tale I got off one of my best bookmarks.
teethum:
This is the boot I pulled off my Nova the other day. Let's see those bastards try THAT one again.
MirandaRamsey:
Rappin' about what it's like to wear an olive-colored suit.
teethum:
SHAZAM! Now you're a box of McNuggets!
Laserblast:
Scientific Obstetrician, Vol. 47, Issue 3: How to fish out loose change from down there.
teethum:
See? It says right here... "It has been certified that the women depicted in this presentation are over the age of eighteen."
Laserblast:
Comes complete with its own fresh, sealed roll of Bounty paper towels. When you open up the box, you'll know why.
MirandaRamsey:
"One a day and I won't get preg!"
Laserblast:
"Now Grampa lives on somewhere else than in our hearts."
Laserblast:
"I know Don's Package. Don's Package is a friend of mine. You, sir, are no Don's Package."
Dyrnwyn:
"So I sez, 'Billy, I love your program, but don't you be tellin' me I gotta ditch the Twinkies!"
Dyrnwyn:
Sometimes, Billy Blanks will flood the gym with tear gas for his own amusement.
Dyrnwyn:
"So then Billy sez, 'Sinbad, I can't let you have Twinkies.' So I sez, 'We'll see about that, punk! ... I don't remember anything after that.'"
Dyrnwyn:
Tae-Bo action figure stage sold separately.
Laserblast:
Collect all the members of The Tae Bo Team today! There's Indecisive Susan, Anorexic Annie, and even Mr. Moustache!
Laserblast:
Start collecting those UPC symbols, kids, because the Tae Bo Twins are only available through this special mail-in offer!
Dyrnwyn:
"Tae-Bo has ruined my life. I'm 28 years old!"
Laserblast:
"Hi, I'm Don Lapre's identical twin sister Deena! Don couldn't make it today, but rest assured, I am fully certified in the insane contortionist arts!"
limezinger:
"I have proof that Marlon Brando broke into my house and stripped nekkid, how do i know?"