Hippie:
Look, I just asked you to pick a number, dad... *Forget it! I've seen that little paper thing before. I have to think hard, this thing determines who I like!
Reynard_T_Fox:
"Hello! I'm floating in Prince William Sound for USA's Up All Night!"
E_B_A:
Oops! Looks like some klutzy Dominion employee forgot to clean the screengrabber monitor after he finished checking out that Sable WWF banner.
JediClone:
"Now you will learn a new meaning of suffering!" What do you mean *new*? "It's been around since '95!"
JediClone:
Ruler. Cancer. Likes sizing things up, straightening things out, and sadomasichistic nuns. Dislikes: The Metric Systems and literalist cappers.
E_B_A:
"I don't know, what IS small, white, and comes in a yellow box Mr. Allen?" "No, please, call me Woody."
Hippie:
"Goodbye. Bizzaro Weatherman say Unwelcome to Bizarro Weather Report."
E_B_A:
"Out to steal more bikes, eh..." "Yessir!" "Don't mind me... I'm just gonna strangle some teenagers..." And thus, a legacy was born.
Seltaeb:
Must... resist... obvious... oral sex joke... must... resist... That's... what... Monica said... DAMMIT!
Seltaeb:
It's a little known fact that Dick Cavett has frequent nocturnal emission problems at all times of the day, but his friends are used to it.
E_B_A:
Nothing's worse than being interupted moments before orgasm by the seering voice of Billy Corgan.
JediClone:
"Hi man." "IT IS *NOT* A COMBOVER! I AM *NOT* BALD!" "Uh, all I said was Hi..." "STOP JUDGING ME!" "the hell?"
Laserblast:
"Huh? Wait just a minute! No, I wasn't ritualistically masturbating in front of my shrine to Calista Flockhart!"
Laserblast:
I wonder why they never show the one where Kramer makes a blood-pact with the devil anymore?
Laserblast:
"And here's a special technique I developed myself that I like to call the 'Ron Jeremy'."
Laserblast:
"Welcome to my secret lab, where my 'scienticians' have outsmarted Richard Simmons at his own Deal-A-Meal game! I give you... Bulimia By Jake!"
Laserblast:
Jake tries pressing his imaginary "off" button to make all the big scary words and sweaty people go away, but it doesn't seem to help.
Skippcomet:
Shamed at the depths her career has sunk to, Judith Light prepares to commit seppuku.
Dhalo:
Fish is braggin' on his lovemaking skills again!
Dhalo:
Hey! That was my nickname in high school!
Laserblast:
"I remember that one day I didn't have to wear a suit, and I got to listen to headphones at my desk... man that was sweet."
Izarian:
Mentos ... the fresh-maker!
Laserblast:
"Perhaps later, Diane and I will share a bratwurst-taco platter!" *SLAP*!
Izarian:
Gay? Bi-curious? Call now and receive a complimentary copy of "Men In Back"