Laserblast:
"Rip it out while it's still warm, then bite into it and let the juices flow down your chin..." How Don Lapre eats a Reese's.
HanoverF:
It's really only about 5 dollars, but the teamsters demand 34.95 to handle Don's Package.
Laserblast:
Even though the "Ronco Human Organ Storage Unit" infomercial has been banned by Federal law, somehow Sci-Fi still gets away with showing it. Go figure.
E_B_A:
Of course the REAL challenge is stealing a hubcap off a chicken without the alarm going off.
Deus_Ex_Microphona:
This chicken has mastered the Matrix, thanks to Ronco!
Meldrick:
But a drop of his blood gets in the machinery, a demon possesses it, and a new Steven King short story is born.
E_B_A:
"Why won't this blasted door open on this thing!?" "That's the box with a color photo of the cooker printed on it." "You're fired!" "Yes sir."
Laserblast:
The unexpected and highly acidic shower of Ronco© vomit on the first two rows of the audience kinda put a damper on all the claims of the product's healthiness.
E_B_A:
"The name's Sting! Not Gordon! I'll gut you like a Harkkonnen if you call me that again! I'll be watchin' you!"
Laserblast:
The 2 minute string of racial epithets Suzanne hurled out on national TV was proof that her Tourette's Syndrome was getting out of hand.
E_B_A:
"Of course it was tough being in Vietnam. Nobody wants to put ads in newspapers. All they talk about is some guy named Charlie. De-press-ing."
E_B_A:
"All you hafta do is put ads in the paper and my race will overcome your puny planet for harvestation! Oh crap. Did I just SAY that?"
NGC129:
...but seriously folks, I was an abused child. For some reason, everyone wanted to bitch-slap me.