Laserblast:
Prepubescent outcasts, lonely old spinsters - they're all fair game as far as the soul-hungry Mr. B Natural is concerned.
E_B_A:
It wasn't the fact that Dad had grown a beard that freaked the kids out. It was the way the beard seemed to be a portal to the world of Cthulu.
Hippie:
Can I get your autograph, Matchbox 20? *Goddammit, that's the name of the band, idiot!
E_B_A:
"Ward! The children have purchased a Rock 'N' Roll record! What next!? Us sharing a bed!?"
Hippie:
Another predicatable Mr. Rogers where he talks to the ridiculous looking puppets in their pathetic cardboard castles.
MirandaRamsey:
Just jimmie my nervous personality right down into pills and you'll lose all the weight you want to without bulimia or anorexia! And I'll be rich, Smithers!
JoeCrow:
...and make sure you bring along a shovel and one of those bigass Hefty bags
Hippie:
My personal party zone shrinks every time I get this flippin' screengrab.
Laserblast:
Rex Reed squeals, "expect big drag excitement and a hot hip-hop soundtrack from Will Smith in the sexy new remake of Cleopatra Jones!"
Artanas:
"Hello from the toilet! Look what you've just expunged Art! I'd be worried if I were you, HAW HAW HAW!"
Hippie:
"Glaucoma Man" was taken off the air shortly after network execs found out its primary viewers were potheads.
Laserblast:
"Dear lord, I think we've just discovered the first stable wormhole emanating from someone's bald spot!" "I wasn't bald before! Damn you, vortex!" "Sure, Bob."
Seltaeb:
"What's that? Is that danger I hear? Looks like it's time for... *ta-da!* Tim Kazurinsky Man!!"
Seltaeb:
"Great, they've cut out the scene where he power-vomits on her face. C'mon, it's in black & white, for crying out loud!"
Artanas:
"Nevermind him miss Harbarbar, he always gets this way when Don's package arrives." "Ah..."
Laserblast:
Barry Sobel performs his much-lauded Jack Nicholson. The phrase "Sparky" is taken to new heights of comedic brilliance!
Artanas:
Yep, same reaction I would have to a dinner of 'Stuffed Jeremy'
Laserblast:
Girl-drink Drunk orders his third Pink Squirrel of the evening!
Sanagi:
Have You Crashed A Ford Into A Ditch And Woken Smelling Of Beer Lately?
Laserblast:
Mr. Drysdale spies the stain on the rug and flashes back to that sweat-drenched night with Miss Hathaway, while Casey Kasem enjoys his third Pink Squirrel.
Seltaeb:
They're paying a quarter to watch a woman in capri pants for five minutes. Standards were different back then.
MirandaRamsey:
"Hey Bert! Look at 'em! They're snuggling!" "Argh. Me and my old woman just rut and turn over." "Tis indecent to snuggle."
Seltaeb:
You know, the stories.... all those big long things in between the jokes.
Seltaeb:
Those Ben Stein bookends my mother-in-law got me are positively creepy. Especially at night.