Reynard_T_Fox:
The daily "Changing of the Toupee" at Limey-ShatnerWorld.
Laserblast:
Bob enjoys playing "I'm the icy cold Atlantic and I'm sucking the life out of the Titanic passengers" before devouring his Twinkies.
JediClone:
"Do you feel the Burn, Jill?" "I feel my bellbutton stud ripping up my stomach!" "...uh... that's good! You're ready for The Next Level!"
Fee:
Alice here doesn't know yet, but she's on a giant copier machine and we're getting some choice ass shots right now! Call and get yours today!
Fee:
OK, who wants to say it? All right, I'll do it, *ahem*: Masturbation... OF THE FUTURE!
Laserblast:
Surprisingly, this dear-looking Grandma type is Jake's "Bulldog". Mess with her once, you get the glare. Twice, it's the growl. Three times, you don't want to know.
Metal_Idol:
The only real complaint I have about this infomercial is the severe lack of close-ups in which Jake's mouth is hanging open.
Laserblast:
Don Lapre, seen here in his rare female incarnation.
Dyrnwyn:
The Smurfs victoriously carry Gargamel's beaten and lifeless body to the lava pits.
Fee:
The last thing I saw before I passed out was the abacus... damn the abacus... mocking me... it had beaten me again..
Dyrnwyn:
The Smurfs become lost in an apartment complex, and Gargamel is starting to decompose.
Dyrnwyn:
"This infrared scan of a grade-A steak leads me to believe that I really know nothing about thermographics and wasted four years in college."
Fee:
George Wendt "finds himself." America responds by losing him.
Laserblast:
"Sitting on the corner of this table helps give me sweet 'roid relief. Ohhhh yeah, that's the spot."
Fee:
He has such a wide range of emotions, from easygoing bearded creepy guy to... um...
Fee:
Computer: "Help! He's using me to download porn!" Rich: *Smack* "Quiet, you!"
Laserblast:
"Until next time! Look for me in the alt.binaries.erotic newsgroups under the handle BeardStud69!"
Fee:
Welcome to the Mojave channel, where all our actors are bone dry and barren...