HanoverF:
"You called that a wedding cake? That was a ho-ho, I'm finding me another wedding!"
Zonk:
"Look, you got to decide the kill zone LAST time... now back off..."
FryGirl:
Whoa...I am SO into group connect-the-dots!
TheRatfink:
"Okay class pay attention......i before e except after mc 2.
Montague:
'Your 30-weight or your life...'
Montague:
Mr. Finch would soon learn that gravity minus chessboard plus Indy500 finish line equals... AAHHHH!
Zonk:
"Remember, if someone in your audience yells "Focus", it's your responsibility to fiddle with the lens and then yell, "Shut the fuck up, it's as good as it gets."
Soozcat:
Current 3/2 odds on the river. Gentlemen, place your bets.
Beckett:
"Gee Whizz Louie! Will you give it a rest?!"
wd40:
The surplus Napoleons were given a complimentary shiny medal and then pushed overboard.
Beckett:
"Thank you for your service to our country...OVER THE SIDE...thank you for your service to our country...OVER THE SIDE...thank you...."
Agent_Moldy:
"Bless me, Father, for I have overdrawn my account."
144b:
I'll make ya a cake with a file in it for you, Garry? Louie, this is a tellers window? Oh, UH... Let me have change for a dollar.
JurassicPork:
Unfortunately encouraged by THE WIZ, Diana Ross then tackles RAPUNZEL...
AMCrulz:
Scenes from the first meeting of the masturbation abstinence group.
AMCrulz:
I had this happen to me once back in 1990 when I had that fever dream.
Moatas:
A Little Known Fact: During the 'Cold War', many secret devices were hidden in plain sight at circuses.
144b:
Too bad there were no skateboarders around back then. Otherwise, this would've been one bitchin' rail slide.
Agent_Moldy:
In a surprise twist, it was revealed earlier today that they are, in fact, *not* men, though they *are* Devo.
FryGirl:
"You're bleeding from the ears." "What?" "You're bleeding from the ears!" "What?"
holenozone:
"The guy at Home Depot said this would be so easy to install....lying bastard!"
holenozone:
"THIS!...this is what you look like after the colonoscopy goes terribly, terribly wrong!"
Zonk:
This man's hair is influenced by tidal forces.
Dante83:
Build a better bong and the world wwill beat a path to your parent's basement where you smoke up with your friends. Once the world finally rolls out of bed around noon or so.
da_upstart:
<scratch scratch scratch> "God DAMN, I gotta remember to pick up some Preparation H big time!" <scratch scratch scratch>
gleeb:
But he delayed too long. Remember, always have Preparation H on hand...
echostation:
Death by 'rhoids....
da_upstart:
"Thaaat's alright, take your time. " <ka-klump ka-klump> "Easy. Eeeeasy." <ka-klump ka-klump> "Keep going, you can do it." <ka-klump ka-klump ka-klump> "COME ON!!!"
Angel_Noir:
"So..the Viagra...did you keep the receipt?"
Angel_Noir:
"It's Hawking in the lead, followed by Ironside. But, wait! Roosevelt is coming up fast on the outside..."
Tommys Dad:
"So... we're supposed to fly this woodie out to the coast ourselves?"
E_the_E:
"Fuck. We got Time Chasers."
Dirigo:
Cockroaches worst nightmare: The New York Times, Sunday edition!
cambria36:
Wanda always thought the last word in modern design was "design".
Beckett:
"Eventually, you know, we're going to have to fix this driveway."
gleeb:
*Must* you keep striking those things on my ass?
GersonK:
"The name is Friday. I work pastries."
UnReality:
"Your jelly truck broke down? I hope it doesn't cause a traffic jam!" "Oh, saints preserve us!"
UnReality:
"We can't stop here, this is pita country."
Who:
Unable to write a decent ending, the actors just leave
posthumous:
Why tell us when Stargate is always next?
Bigstupid:
Hi. I'm Sally the Superior School Bus. Today we're going to open a can-o-whoopass on those sissy BlueBird buses. The little boys who ride those are all going to turn out GAY
Bigstupid:
"No, you have to stop BEFORE the line...Maybe we should get you one of those flat-nosed buses..."