carbonbased:
"Who had the Spam?"
Buffoon:
"Hey! No home building here! We're not done roaming yet! Go bother the damn deer and antelope! They're over thataway, playing."
Matteus:
nevermind how I got stuck in here, help me out!!
WilliamHMacysDayParade:
"I said, "Myron, stop and ask for directions, but did you? No, you just kept swimming....right into the net!" "Not now, Lois!"
Dante83:
Man, all the swimming upstream... I'm beat. It's nice to just relax. Wait a minute, where the hell are we?!
GersonK:
Mr. Limpett, no!
Matteus:
"...now you're doing a Yanni lick, now just hold it down until you get a record deal with Windham Hill"
144butterball:
Weirdest Advent calendar I've ever seen.
Matteus:
I'm 17, when can I start using chairs?
Soozcat:
Guy probably wears suspenders and a belt.
Billy_Zoom:
Watch out, Scotty, they have cellophane body armor...
amycamus:
If "Cocktail" and "The Best Years of Our Lives" had a child...!
turkey-ina-wickerbasket:
We interrupt the Verrazano for this important announcement from the Statue of Liberty. . ."How come I don't' get any say in who gets to climb my stairs? It's my body, ain't it?!"
UnReality:
His e-mails largely ignored, the Nigerian Minister for Finance turns to pornography to raise funds.
Moatas:
Sure, your folks are dead, your spouse left you, you have no job, you're broke but hell, man. walk it off!
Mr_Grant:
Did not see the posture short.
posthumous:
Tell me, does this face make me look old?
Hinermad:
o/ Saline, takes me away...
AJ:
Thats one fancy phone booth.
AJ The Bomb:
Sign here here here..and here.. and then you're mine.. (other guy: What?) ..Nothing!
holenozone:
"What we have here is a failure to communicate,...as well as act, or make any sense at all."
Forkboy:
"I need 10 cc's of 10W-30 stat!"
CranZoogi:
The melting clocks will arrive momentarily.
Dante83:
"Tell me, do you think I look a bit like Gregory Peck made to look aged?" "No." "What about Colonel Sanders?" "No." "It's finger lickin' good!" "Can I go home now, sir?"
TorgosHand:
"Please tell me there's a coaster under that glass!"
NurseNoir:
Pedos: The Toes of Fate!
blahblahgirl:
home movies 101 way to capture the beauty of barely recognizable photography
MrAtomik:
and when one gets dirty, he jsut moves on to the next, when they're all dirty he'll just sell the house
The_Seer:
Even Liza Minelli was disgusted with Michael Jackson when she heard about his arrest.
gleeb:
All the obstetricians on their world are in favor of forceps, but none of them are very good at using them.
The_Seer:
"Why yes, we got drunk last night and tried to iron each other's heads. How did you know?"
KIPPAGE:
After Hearing what Liza said about Michael, the two Aliens decided not to pollute their hardened Soldiers with anythin Earthly
gleeb:
He tried to mix mime and minstrelry, Captain.
The_Seer:
"Captain, I believe your planet once referred to this now rare speciman as a 'Raiders fan'."
gleeb:
No more dixie cups. Another indignity...
The_Seer:
.oO (Drat! Why am I so weak that I can't get this Dustbuster out of its recharger? Oh no, I think I ate turkey before.)