robofreak:
"I EXPECTED to pass a gall stone, but this is ridiculous!"
DeucePM:
"When you clock the human race with the stopwatch of history, it's a new record every time." "Aw, man, somebody broke Tim!"
DiscoBoy:
Pepperidge Farms Forgets.
DeucePM:
"I have in my hand a list of 32 fans of First Wave." At long last, Sci-Fi Channel, have you no sense of decency?!
DiscoBoy:
McCarthy finally blows a gasket -- "There are Commies in the State Department! Commies under your bed! Commies in my pants! Commies in your toothpaste!"
Dynaflyer:
Neil is concerned when, upon opening his fortune cookie, he finds a crptic message which translates as, "Start running, monkey boy."
DeucePM:
Joe Walsh: Psychic Investigator. "Now, see, this is evidence of an ectoplasmic entity that...oh, wait, that's my gum."
Scouty:
Just more government fodder from the MAN to keep us Cappers down, dammit! Oh. It's a menu? Nevermind.
DiscoBoy:
"I've got tickets to the Night Ranger concert tomorrow. Wanna go?"
DancingQueen:
"It says here that you're my son. Well, I don't believe it! I haven't had a child in... 25 years!"
DiscoBoy:
Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Swallow No Evil.
Bird_in_Black:
He's scent-marking his part of the pitch.
DancingQueen:
An awkward moment, as Harold meets his boss, Roger, leaving the office late one night.
NurseNoir:
*Note to self: refrain from tastless McCaughey septuplets placenta caps in future. Nobody but you thinks they're funny...*
NurseNoir:
Delivery room nurse sneaks a taste of placenta, after having heard so much about it...
DancingQueen:
"Does this mean I get to go to the prom for a third time, too?"
Meldrick:
There seems to be a defect in my new chessboard.
animebabe:
"This mini-me looks nothing like me!!" "That's why he was on sale."