Mercutio_Jones:
I'd do anything to help the War on Terror, Mr. President, up to and including sacrificing my virginity to Balragar, the volcano god
Kevbo32:
I wonder what the world be like if I took it over?
Archris:
Of course Heaven has a sliding glass door. What were you expecting, pearly gates?
Wiseduck:
So that's what happens when you stick silverware in the microwave!
BAND_OF_GYPSYS:
Insert Doctor Who theme music
cincyredhead:
Coming to a week near you, rated R
Indomitus:
"Cooo-roo-coo-coo-coocoocoocoooo!!! How's it going, eh? Welcome to the Great White North."
GKW44:
There's the DELL guarantee... 0% interest.
looseygooseyman:
Then we take everything you own!... "Dude, you're gettin' a huge bill!"
Btara_Ktahn:
Martina Navratilova attempts to change her public image.
GKW44:
The average sitcom husband.
klutzka:
I can't believe I gave John Edward all of my money. He said my father was low on cash in Heaven.
EndlessBlue:
"As the first female president, I will ensure there will be food on every table, Money in every pocket, and year-round sales at the GAP."
TVRYAN:
This product actually works??!!! Ha Ha Ha. Shyeah right!
happy_fun_ball:
Sopranos, you've met your ratings match.
klutzka:
Out of desperation Whitney Houston turns to Miss Cleo for advice on her next career move.
Btara_Ktahn:
Daddy longleg spiders, when trapped in nefarious Chinese water traps, will chew off their own legs to escape.
Stranger_X:
"Please! No more torture! I used to be the Hamburger Helper glove! Now thanks to your sewing... I'm an oven mitt!"