Agent_Moldy:
Young Eric Kaden was awarded the "Dairy Queen™ Kids' Crown" earlier today, after outlasting second-place finisher Shawna O'Malley in the 'Liveliest Wire' competition. When asked for a comment, O'Malley replied, "They gave us all the ice cream we could eat, and that was really neato, but I just couldn't take the shocks any longer!" Kaden, still sizzling, stated, "I'm glad I beat Shawna -- 'cuz fan belts are silly! The monkeys are capsizing! Fruit bats and wingnuts for life! BRING ON THE IMPS!!!"
Steve_Reeves:
...and you thought all those cell phone towers sent *your* voice over the airwaves!
144b:
Young Prince Lugginy & Princess Doofienia sit atop the Smathering pole & sing, "Ya ya~Nanny nanny~NA NA! We've got ice milked cream & you don't!!"
suggs:
And I thought I had a weird prom.
Buffoon:
Let's see... Argyle socks... Plaid knickers... Clip on tie... Dorky crown. Yet he still apparently can get a date. Not exactly a supermodel, but a date. What the f*ck am I doing wrong?
DiscoBoy:
o/~ "I am an ice cream man for the county.... And I work the main roads..." o/~
nastinkers:
Pole-dancing is a little misunderstood in the midwest, but child labor laws still permit it, as long as ice cream breaks are provided every four hours.
Lanzman:
Platforms have been installed on many power line poles in order to prevent migrating British Royals from electrocuting themselves.
questor:
"Nobody ever knew what happened to the Robinson kids. Suddenly the parents had more room in the old Bel Aire and, well, Stuckeys got some cheap help."
Generik:
Frank had no problem getting elected Junior High Prom King once he ran on a platform of free ice cream for all the babes in class.
ArtMystery:
Before there was Ben and Jerry, there was Ben and Sherry, with their now-forgotten, but popular-at-the-time High Voltage Vanilla. A series of mysterious falling deaths and electrocutions led to the discontinuation of the renowned dairy product, and Ben and Sherry were discredited, lived the rest of their lives in ignominy, and died bitter and penniless. But those who remember say that High Voltage Vanilla was the best ice cream they ever ate.
ABServo:
Richard Simmons and Harvey Fierstein, age ten!
rickubis:
Nice going! You knocked off the one on the right! But, you don't win the teddy bear unless you knock off all *three* kids. Wanna pay another dollar for another pailful of rocks?
Shandi:
Ok, what *I* want to know is, if they're trying to break a record for pole sitting, *how did they get the ice cream cones up there?!*
IMissMST3K:
She wanted to get high and he hankered for soft serve, so they licked both needs at once...
Indika:
"What would you do for a Klondike Bar?"
HoneyT:
Girl: "Mine's spinach!"
Boy: "Mine's turnip!"
UpSky2:
As children, Amelia Earhart and Jughead from "Archie" started a club known as the Phone-Pole-High Club. For some reason, this did not keep them from going altogether separate ways...
Laurie2K:
This happens when kids score a dime bag and get high.
Beedo:
Were they THAT starved for entertainment during the depression?!
Nyssa23:
"Soft serve ice cream: the breakfast of champions."
Annakie7:
Allie never feared the Crimson King, since she remembered him as the dorky kid from her 'hood with stupid pants.
starkbalmy:
Maxwell and Winifred had to seek ever more private spots to enjoy their favorite ice cream flavors -- Tobacco Fudge Ripple and Mucus Marble, respectively -- as they just couldn't abide the teasing and retching sounds that the other kids would constantly invoke when they caught them.
Geier:
This inner peak at W's and Mrs. Bush's inner children explains a lot about what it takes to become the most powerful man in the world.
Mr_Grant:
Punks. In MY day, if we wanted to protest logging we sat in a tree that hadn’t already been murdered.
Daleman:
"And around the first turn, It’s Alfalfa followed closely by Spanky, Porky making a quick move to the inside, and Buckwheat bringing up the rear."
Chebby:
Breaking tradition from the original Mardi Gras King and Queen concealing their identities until after the ball, these two, from the krewe Poww Fokks, can't afford all the trimmings, and are paraded on this makeshift platform nailed to the bed of a '47 Chevrolet pickup with cans tied to the bumper. Items thrown include cattails, gar balls and an occasional mullet, as opposed to beads and trinkets.