Agent_Moldy:
"That's right, I just married the HELL outta that couple!"
"Uhh, Reverend?"
"WOOOOOOOO!!! Who's da man? I'M da man!"
"Reverend Thomas, you're making a scene!"
"Go Rev-'rend! Go Rev-'rend! It's your birthday!"
Mr_Grant:
Meanwhile, in West Loco, Mississippi--
~My my, Louise. This here's one FINE wedding dinner you're having here today.
~Well I've done my best Mabel, I have. My Becky wanted the best, and her father and I spared no expense! Just take this living centerpiece, for example.
~Is THAT what that is? Now, I thought it was marzipan!
~No no, it's a real person. I found him performing in the quad, up at the State University. I read about living centerpieces in that Martha Stewart magazine.
~Martha Stewart? DANGEROUSLY cosmopolitan, Louise //LAUGHTER//.
~ //GIGGLE// Well, maybe. Folks did say my daddy done pick up some "foreign ways" when he was in the service in Gay Par-ee.
~Don't go sayin' 'gay', people might talk. //LAUGHS//
~Well aren't you a funny one! //LAUGHS//
~Well you've done a great job, this is going to be THE social event in West Loco this year.
~Why thank you, Evelyn! Maybe I'll make it an annual event.
~Really? But... It- it's Becky's WEDDING.
~And?
144b:
This is how my uncle Lloyd gets out of paying for his meals & drinks. Lloyd stands up on the table and starts to scream at the top of his lungs, "I am the dark overlord! I call forth the very fires of Hell! O' feel my rath puny mortals." It's also the same trick he used to get Aunt Glenda to marry him.
Steve_Reeves:
When I asked for a table dance, this isn't quite what I expected. Please don't feel obligated to take anything off...
DiscoBoy:
Trying to use your psychic powers to resurrect the dead chickens on everyone's plates is *not* necessarily a good idea.
Generik:
Uncle Virgil's Hell and Damnation Table Dance proved so popular that six different sets of cousins decided to get married just so they could get him to perform at their receptions.
Nyssa23:
"When at a wedding, it is generally considered bad form to do the Poopie Dance."
Ash_Skywalker:
"Incoming transmission, from the Big Giant Head!!!"
rickubis:
Incoming message from---no, wait. It's just my 'rhoids acting up.
suggs:
ROCK ON OZZY!!!
ArtMystery:
Throw your hands up in the air! Throw your hands up like you just don't care that you're stepping in Valerie the bridesmaid's perfectly good veal marsala!
HoneyT:
Suddenly, letting loose during little Ishmael's bar mitzvah didn't seem like a good idea anymore for Uncle Joshua.
Shandi:
And just as Joe was getting the Spirit, he slipped -- and ended up as a tape on America's Funniest home videos, winning his best friend $3000 and ruining their friendship. His best friend didn't seem to mind, though.
Dr. Phibes:
"In Uncle Fester's younger days, he was more energetic -- and he had all his hair..."
Annakie7:
And the theme for this year's Audie Murphy Thanksgiving Dinner is: "Raise the Roof!"
JAUSTRALIS:
"Can I getta 'Amen' for open bars at receptions!?!?"
nastinkers:
Well, he's either having an intense spiritual moment, or he's finally passing that kidney stone.
amycamus:
"Parthians, Medes, and Elamites! The wind bloweth where it listeth! Beelzebabelbejesus! Sing, dance, play music, and cut yourself not in this here house! Satanhenomemolestis megaglossalaliamis! Josephmaryashcroftsonoyaweh and one nation under GAWD! Amen!"
"Amen, brother. FINE sermon for a Monday morning. Mr. Holder, could you make sure the serpents are back in their boxes? Thank you. Now, we have a great number of official Department of Justice matters to attend to this morning, so let's get started, shall we?..."
AAAron333:
Praise God and pass the sweet potatoes, I'VE JUST BEEN CURED OF MY BUNIONS!!!
starkbalmy:
"Check it out -- this here's my imitation of a blind Joe Don Baker meeting Pamela Anderson for the first time..."
abracadaver:
Of course, no wedding would be complete without the Dancing of the Drunken Grandpa.
IMissMST3K:
After all that effort, poor Bob only scored a buck and a quarter... and that was to stop!
BlakHat1:
Meanwhile at the Frankenstein Wedding: "FIRE BAAAAD!!! GARTER TOSS GOOOOOD!!!
Lanzman:
Moments later, Uncle Phil let fly with the mother of all beer farts.
ABServo:
"o\~ Put your hands in the *hic* air... wave 'em like ya *hic* just don't care! *hic* o\~"
chilwil:
Arthur Andersen, executing a career change, waits expectantly for that first stock option to be tucked into his pants.
Daleman:
CEO's like this are the main reason I don't fly first class anymore.
Geier:
...But where they had previously thought that Uncle Stanley was yet again being moved by "The Spirit Of Ja-HEE-sus," they learned to their surprise -- and for some, their great relief -- that this time, it was merely gas.
Matteus:
Daaa-aaaad!! You can't be having high school football flashbacks during my wedding reception!! This is MY night for once!
TyranosaurisRex:
"It worked! See! I told you! If you drink enough you become invisible! Oh, wait. You can still see my clothes. Let me fix that..."