Agent_Moldy:
And with this one contest, Tiffany Danner's hopes of becoming 'Pork Queen 2002' were dashed. When asked for a comment, Miss Danner exclaimed, "Like, ohmygawwwd! This is, like, SO not fair! I can't beLIEVE they won't, y'know, let us do this on our knees! Like, I just can't DO this any other way! I've spent every night of the week since I turned 16 training with Patrick Phillips, Sean McKenzie, Scott Alexander, David Higgins, and Eric Karson for this one contest, and now it's like, all for nothing! And by the way, don't think for one minute that I don't know that this ISN'T a Nathan's hot dog! I mean, this SOOOO does NOT taste like Nathan at ALL! I'm like, gonna file one-a them, like formal protests-er something, y'know?"
suggs:
...it's not Fluffy...it's not Fluffy.. it's not Fluffy...it's not Fluffy…
nbutlerdidit:
"Suzanne Summers hated her first week at Linda Lovelace Boot Camp; however, she soon learned to choke down her inhibitions."
Mr_Grant:
.oO I'm a vegetarian! But I need to win this hot dog eating contest to qualify for the finals... OK, OK, here goes. Just close your eyes and think of Danny Scirocco, close your eyes and think of Danny Scirocco... Oo.
Buffoon:
Yeah.... Like Miss Mill Creek never had anything like a hot dog in her mouth before.
144b:
It's When Interns Attack on FOX!
Lanzman:
Mary Lou forgets to remove the condom from her hot dog with disastrous results.
Nyssa23:
"Don't worry honey, it's all protein."
DiscoBoy:
Apparently, swallowing is an acquired skill.
Steve_Reeves:
.oO"Damnit! That bitch switched my hotdog with an origami boulder! Now I'll be tasting paper and stale ink all day! Oh, well, I guess I'm lucky she didn't use bonsai aluminum foil!"
Generik:
30 years after Watergate, John Dean reveals who Deep Throat *really* was... and a nation -- not to mention Bert Parks -- is stunned.
rickubis:
For her "interesting" technique with the hot dog, Miss Mill Center won the beauty contest by unanimous vote.
Shandi:
The new Low-Cal, Low-Fat cheese slice made with Olestra(tm): may cause uncontrollable sneezing and bitter beer face when ingested.
Beedo:
She obviously needs to get acclimated to having long, hot, spongy masses of meat going down her throat. I think I can help her out on that...
ABServo:
"Ewwwwwww!! These aren't made with free-range chickens!!!"
malaclypse:
Miss Teen Anorexia USA's least favorite event.
TyranosaurisRex:
Ewwww! This Nathan's Hot Dog tastes like a tuna taco.
starkbalmy:
Suzy figured she at least had Miss Congeniality wrapped up, until she came across that unfortunately-placed vein...
devildoll:
"Bill Clinton's new summer camp for underprivileged buxom females featured a Beauty Pageant complete with Talent Competition. This entrant should be a shoo-in, as she handles the high-degree-of-difficulty Nathan's dog with relative ease, given the fact that she's white."
ArtMystery:
During the hot dog-eating portion of the show, it became painfully obvious to the French judge that there were, indeed, some things that Miss Mill Creek simply could not bring herself to do to win.
Geier:
As disgusting as the traditional Italian pastry was, Mrs. Soprano simply closed her eyes and did what Tony had told her to do so many times before: "Just pretend it's an ice cream cone".
Jacksinn:
As Miss Mill Stone Around the Neck struggled with her kielbasa and sauerkraut, Miss Edge of Your Seat didn't make things any easier when she kept coughing the words "Blowjob! Blowjob!" into her hand.
HoneyT:
"Ok Debbie, it's no big deal... just pretend it's your pimp's delicious Twinkie... that's right, it's a nice, cream-filled... *gulp* Twinkie... oh man, my eyes are stinging...!"
abracadaver:
This girl will be elected "least likely to give a decent bj" by her high school.
AAAron333:
Girl on left thinking: I'll just pretend it tastes like my boyfriend.
Girl on right thinking: Weird, this tastes just like her boyfriend.
IMissMST3K:
Although she was taught diferently, Miss Mill Creek, Janice Wobowicz, was determined to swallow to secure her crown!
JAUSTRALIS:
"It was at that point that the rumors about Candy being a lesbian were confirmed."
nastinkers:
Contestants for the Miss Intern 2002 contest are subjected to many "job" related tests...
joe678:
"Eewwww, yuckie-poo! The judges' hot dogs tasted *so* much better! At least my hair's still big!"
(girl on right) "Steffi, is that mayonnaise in your hair, or.....eewwww, yuckie-poo!"
BlakHat1:
"Pig Uterus?!? I KNEW we shouldn't have let FOX host this year's pageant!"
Matteus:
Ummm... when was the gag reflex competition added?
Ash_Skywalker:
"Like, why are they making me EAT?! *whinebitchcomplain*"
Humoriste:
Maybe hot dogs should have the same thing imprinted on them that ice cream cones do (eat-it-all).
Laurie2K:
I'ved warned transients about these women. When they hear -"Help a bum out, lady? Got a quarter for a sandwich?" they go - "Let's see the sandwich."
questor:
Vicki was disqualified after it became obvious that a real blonde would have just swallowed.