Agent_Moldy:
After his breakup with Elle Woods -- okay, with his German Shepherd lover, Hank -- Bruiser soon slipped into a life of living on the streets, begging for food, and shooting up for Satan -- when Behind the Leash continues...
144b:
Ren of Ren & Simpy: I Neeed My Insooooulin, NOW!
Buffoon:
"Yo Quiero YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"
BlueOnBlack:
Regrettably it seems even former animal actors go the way of washed-up child stars...
Mr_Grant:
"Before the heroin got me I was a 150-pound Newfoundland.
questor:
Not much was heard from the Taco Bell dog after the steroid scandal...
DiscoBoy:
I don't care if it IS a rabid chihuahua sticking god-knows-what in my ass -- it's still better than my HMO.
Lanzman:
Having run up considerable debt with an unsavory Vegas bookie, the Taco Bell dog is force to do public service announcements for methadone clinics to avoid having his knees broken.
Reynard_T_Fox:
"I SAID NO BROWN M&Ms; YOU EEEDIOT!"
Generik:
Monkey, hell. For my money, there's nothing in this world worse than a chihuahua on your back.
ArtMystery:
William Wegman's "Yappy of Needle Park."
UnReality:
"Yo quiero Taco Hell!"
FLYINGSQUIRREL:
"On a very special "Ren & Stimpy"... Ren finds out the hard way that mainlining kibble is likely to put him in a 'bad' mood"
Imac:
"I guess we know what Taco Bell's secret ingredient is."
Racerex:
Now we know how Ren Hoek got through all those physically exhausting, manic cartoons: Lots of drugs. Of course, they eventually took their toll.
Ash_Skywalker:
"Thought you were going to fix me, eh?!"
Zee:
Trent Reznor's Dog and Huey Lewis's New Drug: They'll make you feel nine inches thick!
nashtbrutusandshort:
The Hunter S. Thompson Hound has yet to be accepted as an official breed by the American Kennel Club. Or blessed by a priest.
Motis:
After his death in 1994, former President Richard M. Nixon was elected Satan by a landslide, thanks to an updated version of his famous 'Checkers' speech.
gleeb:
"¡Screw the chalupa! ¡Yo quiero cocaína!"
amycamus:
[offscreen, slurred voice of Ozzy Osbourne]: "There's a good lil' doggy! Now fetch me my slippers, before I fookin' bite yer 'ead off."
Lanzman:
Having run up considerable debt with an unsavory Vegas bookie, the Taco Bell dog is force to do public service announcements for methadone clinics to avoid having his knees broken.
cambria36:
This bitch has the worst case of pink-eye in medical history, yet she insists on self-medicating.
starkbalmy:
"Just say 'no.' Just say 'no, bad dog.' Just say 'no, bad dog, now heel!' Just say... Oh, please help me, Jesus, please!!"
WEIRD_1:
Generik's dog learns about insulin shots.
MessiahBlue:
"Hereeeeee, Spike!?"
suggs:
This man said you needed to see him about me. So, whatta you want?!?
lil_amish:
The Governator's plan to reduce health care costs in California? Replace "special interest nurses groups" with Satanic chihuahuas packing syringes full of cyanide. The voters cheer!
Nyssa23:
"At that moment, Ren Hoek knew he had hit rock bottom."
nastinkers:
Never go to a hospital in Mexico. You don't know what kind of care you will get.
JurassicPork:
Sure, he may be small but would *you* f*ck with the guard dog for the Chelsea Hotel?
AAAron333:
President Bush's latest appointee... Please welcome our new Surgeon General!!!
Steve_Reeves:
The Taco Bell Chihauhua and Satan had a baby. They named him Fred.
keogh:
"But Ruffy, surely you see the irony of telling me I'M the one who needs the distemper shot! Nooo..."
Daleman:
Skippy was not good with children.
chilwil:
When you're a Mex,
you're a Mex all the way
from your first hit of smack
to your last barking day.
meQal:
The Taco Bell Chihuahua had to be put down today by authorities when he attacked several people at a local Taco Bell in a heroin-fueled rage.
Law enforcement officals had no choice but to shoot the dog when he refused to surrender to them. A well-loved spokesdog for many years with Taco Bell, the Chihuahua had apparently fallen into acute heroin addiction while on the set of the commercials, and was later let go by the company. A spokesman for Taco Bell said that while they regret seeing the star's tragic downfall and the incident itself, they felt no ill will towards the Chihuahua.
The company plans to honor his memory, in fact, by adding him to the meat for the local store.
"He would have wanted it that way. He was always liked being close to his fans,"a company spokesman said, "This way he will be a part of them."
TyranosaurisRex:
FOR SALE: One Chihuahua on steroids. CONTACT: Jose Canseco.
Jacksinn:
He may not be man's best friend, but he is pretty tight with Jason Giambi.
kilroy105:
Next on ESPN's "Outside the Lines..." steroids and the Westminster Dog Show. Has the Shih Tzu finally hit the fan enough for reform?
BlakHat1:
Ren Hoek - Slapstick comic, antihero of cable-ready children everywhere. Following the cancellation of "The New Ren and Stimpy Show", he turned to heroin and became vicious enforcer of the infamous Taco Bell Gang. Recently arrested for attempted murder after a failed hit on businessman Aflac Duck at the behest of insurance magnate and crime boss Geico Gecko. Unsuccessfully represented by Harvey S. Birdman, he is now serving a Gajillion-Zillion years to Life at Toontown Supermax Prison pending appeal or delivery of a cake with a saw in it. Movie rights are already in bidding between the Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon, working title "Cel to Cell: the Ren Hoek Story."