Agent_Moldy:
Lurch checks out the room while Shatner, knowing that Star Trek is nearing its end, rehearses his lines for his next job. "Hi, welcome to Hickory Farms! Would you like to try my salted meat log?"
tinaw:
Oh my God! Is a dildo that size LEGAL??
Well, maybe only in Boston.
DiscoBoy:
Ha! You wish, Bill...
Lanzman:
.oO"That big bald guy at the porno shop sure was helpful. Now I won't need Spock at all!!"Oo.
Steve_Reeves:
"Bones, do you have any petroleum jelly in that medkit?"
144Boo!:
I "wood" like to thank the academy, for this "hard" fought award?
Generik:
Kirk was getting awfully tired of having to hide from the crew the fact that, six months after leaving Guernsey IV, the Dairy Planet in the Antares System, he was STILL on an all-cottage cheese diet.
Racerex:
"Hey, Kirk, what the heck are you doing in there? Hurry up, man, I've gotta use the shower!"
suggs:
With the confidence I'll have now, Leonard won't be able to take my Priceline gig!
Motis:
"Sometimes a frighteningly large and knobbly artificial cock is just a frighteningly large and knobbly artificial cock." -- Sigmund Freud
ArtMystery:
Apparently Shatner learned some rather enterprising tricks from the time he spent in the Groupie Nebula with Pamela Des Barres and the Plaster Casters.
Nyssa23:
"Captain's Log, supplemental: Never experiment with Klingon sex toys. Trust me on that one."
Jeansplyce:
Stalag-might? Stalag-tight? I better figure this out before Lurch finds me!
cambria36:
When you said "Live long and prosper," Spock, at least my penis took you seriously.
Jacksinn:
"Captain's log: Can't keep hiding this yeast infection from the crew... perhaps it's time to visit a specialist..."
Mustang:
"Telly used one on me, and so did Yul... I wonder if this gentle giant would also consent to my tastes, and if only he is as much a man as this symbol of his love may represent..."
evetsggod:
Thank you, Space-Viagra!
Shandi:
I didn't even know that Shat *had* a cock-rocket from Orgazmo, much less knew how to use it!
Humoriste:
The best Shat-shot ever!
AAAron333:
"Come in, Bones. This is Shat. Just wondering... exactly how much KY Jelly do we keep on hand in Sick Bay? Dammit Bones! Get back to me soon... Spock is getting impatient!"
gleeb:
I didn't know that King Missile song was about Ted Cassidy.
Chebby:
"I agreed to use the plaster on its wounds, Jim, even though I'm not a carpenter, but just what would you have me do with that?!"
"Help it, Bones... remember your oath to Starfleet. Think of.... the other Hortas, think of... Mrs. Horta. You can help, I know. You may well be saving the whole Horta race."
*sigh* "Ok, Scotty, send some more plaster down. Better send some silicone too."
"Aye Cap'n, but how do I write it up in my tally report?"
"Urology. But don't you mean... tallywacker report?"
FryGirl:
When "Hamlet" goes horribly, horribly awry...
starkbalmy:
"Bones warned me not to screw that chick with the green skin. He said I'd regret it... but he didn't tell me anything about THIS!"
nastinkers:
"Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker!"
WEIRD_1:
I thought I told Leonard to leave my casting clay alone.
NameBrand:
"He may be the best fighter on a dozen planets, but he's no match for a face full of Horta smegma!"
Janx:
.oO(This'll make a great hood ornament for the Enterprise.)
JurassicPork:
William Shatner in THE MALTESE PENIS.
Buffoon:
.oO I... feel so... insignificant.
Daleman:
"Lieutenant Commander Spock was a fine officer, a good friend and a great asset to Starfleet. He will be sorely missed by everyone that knew him, especially the ladies."
chilwil:
"It will smite my foes and I will name it Shamu... I don't know why... but I am reminded of whales... and shemales... baldheaded shemales... who chant my name and look like Riff-Raff."
questor:
Captain's log. Stardate...you betcha.