Agent_Moldy:
"I'm sorry, Lucy, but Schroeder's with me, now."
"But Mr. Beethoven, I --"
"Look, it's over between you two. You need to move on. Hey, I know, why don't you give that nice Brown boy a call? I hear he's still single."
"Look, Ludwig, all I want to know is, are those Bugle Boy pantaloons you're wearing?"
DiscoBoy:
"Who Wants to Marry a Hapsburg" -- tonight on Fox!
Indika:
When American Justice showed a reenactment of the Loreana Bobbit crime, viewers all had the same response. "What's up with the costuming??"
questor:
The time honored tradition of White House Intern interviews
144b:
From a Dutch 19th centuy sex guide, Dr. J. Alesis Horselips' "The Mechanics of Sex and Animal Husbandry". Sex Positon No. 580(b) The Blind Plowmen
Steve_Reeves:
"Ludwig, are you sure this is what the doctor prescribed for your deafness?"
"Oh, yes! I can already hear the strains of my Ode To Joy even before we begin!"
Meldrick:
Additional lost footage from Abel Gances 'Napoleon' was determined to most likly be a fraud, as they mostly centered around the diminutive emperor dropping his pantaloons and urinating on Josephine's face.
BlueOnBlack:
Scenes from W's No-Child-Left-Behind-Traveling-Seminar-Series: "Just Say YES To Abstinence!"
Blinker:
"Okay, Spike. You want to play rough with the Slayer? You two come after *any* of my friends again and this Daguerrotype gets plastered on every telephone pole in town."
Lanzman:
Apparently Monica and Bill go back farther than anyone suspected.
Reynard_T_Fox:
"Yea, I shall go with thee. But thou will protect me against vagrants and thieves, dear Gingrich?" "Yea, for my legislation shall commit all those of a lower income bracket to state prisons where they shall no more be free to molest the eyes of those of superior standing."
Geier:
Lady Penelope ap-Hiltwater III, valued member of Her Majesty's Secret Service, had found that duty and country would often require her to "lay back and think of England". Unfortunately, Phillipe Augustine, the Fourth Duke d'Chavilier-Partonce, insisted that our heroine assume a somewhat more...active... role on this particular occasion. This necessitated that Penelope quickly adopt a new, and hitherto untried, maxim: "Close your eyes and pretend it's ice cream."
Generik:
"Mon Dieu! From here, I can hear the fomenting of a revolution!" "Mais non, ma cherie! It is just the sound of a spoiled eclair!"
starkbalmy:
And always I thought Tom Lehrer invented the Masochistic Tango.
Shandi:
And now, the newest Off-Off-Off-Off-Broadway musical, "The Mozart Keller Story," starring Amadeus as the quirky teacher of Hellen Keller! Buy your tickets NOW!
Racerex:
It was right then that Pierre realized that bathing only once every six months just wasn't going to cut it...
Nyssa23:
"Well, I guess you're not *that* happy to see me."
JoeCrow:
NO, REALLY; It tastes like strawberries!
Beedo:
Screenshot from the period porno, "Rock Me Amadeus II: Stanzerl Blows The Magic Flute."
ArtMystery:
Three generations later, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec was born...
gleeb:
A little known duet from Mozart's "Abduction from the Seraglio", "No, esso media che di non saltate su esso" (No, it doesn't mean you blow on it).
cambria36:
Josephine gasps, "So THAT's why they call you BONEapard."
Jacksinn:
In the original stage production of The Saddest Music in the World, an ingenue known as Eve Harrington played the part that Isabella Rosselini made famous on the silver screen.
WEIRD_1:
Newest popular download to hit the Internet are movies of George and Martha Washington's honeymoon posted on presidentshavesex.com, getting more hits than the Paris Hilton video.
Ash_Skywalker:
Andy Richter and Angelina Jolie star in the remake of "Amadeus."
ABServo:
Dammit, honey, you *knew* we were dancing the tango tonight!! Did you *have* to take your Paxil now??
chilwil:
(gasp) "So, that's why they call you the Scarlet Pimplenel!"
AAAron333:
Tchaikovsky's "Dwarf Waltz in D Minor."
FLAMINGSQUIRREL23:
"Ye old 'wishbone dance' was a short-lived craze... mostly due to lack of willingness to participate by the young maidens."
Daleman:
The original version of 'Dirty Dancing' was not a box office smash like the sequel was.
nastinkers:
Hobbit Prom
JurassicPork:
Justice is not only blind, she suffers from rug burns.
Cyberbeast:
"I told you my dear, I'll buy you new legs for Christmas, now dance with me!"