Agent_Moldy:
"Do you want to win over an Anna Nicole Smith of your own, but don't have the money of a J. Howard Marshall? Do what I did! Convert all your money to pennies! It's quick, it's easy, and she won't know the difference, anyway!"
Indika:
"Order in the next 15 minutes and we'll send you all the rabbit sh*t you can handle... ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!!!"
Buffoon:
"What's the big deal? Every day it rains, it rains these from Heaven."
144b:
Here's Claude DuFante. The man that came up with the phrase, "If I had a nickel for everytime I..." Each time someone utters that phrase, Mr. DeFante really gets five cents. Some of Claude's less popular phrases are, "Does This Look infected to You?", "More Fun than Pants Filled with Flukeworms." And "Do Farts Have Lumps?"
Ash_Skywalker:
"Um, Milton, we need you to clean this mess up......yeah....."
Lanzman:
"Behold!! Every New York subway token produced from 1976 to 1981!! BOW TO ME, UNWORTHY ONES!!"
DiscoBoy:
"All you homies at the IMF and World Bank can kiss my lily ass, beeotches! MC Galbraith is in da hizzouse!"
Generik:
Not at all what the commander had in mind when he told Milton that he was "confined to quarters."
Phibes:
"Ah... It's GOOD to be a Republican..."
Shandi:
"Hukked on Fonix werked four me!"
(Director, VO) "Mr. Smith, wrong ad... This is for Viagra - you know, 'enhance your sex life for pennies a day?'"
"*What* sex life?"
(Director, VO) *sigh* "Never mind!"
"Can I keep the pennies?"
(Director, VO) "Yes, Mr Smith, that's how we're paying you. You can go now."
cambria36:
"Why Jim Fandango likes to use the pay toilets in Las Vegas."
Jacksinn:
Just goes to show, some men really can change.
SilentFilmStar:
Harold, being the ultimate jerk, decides to pay his ex-wife her alimony all in pennies.
Motis:
"Having diligently and single-mindedly pursued his dream for many decades, Grandpa became the sole owner of all the candy in the world sometime in the mid-1950s. He was always generous with his wealth when I was growing up, though my siblings and I soon learned that to accept a jujube, Red Hot, or Milk Dud from Grandpa's hand was to invite a thorough cavity search on the way out, just to make sure we'd really eaten it."
kilroy105:
The Billy Graham Do-It-Yourself Home Baptism kit! Saving people from themselves (and the root of all evil) since 1949. Call (316) BE-HEALD and ask for John for more details!
starkbalmy:
"For a nickel I will!"
ArtMystery:
"Come in, come in! Yes, I am Franklin Mint, but my friends call me Frank. Come in, sit down! I have something special just for you!"
chilwil:
This guy's not quite as uptight as Ferris Bueller's buddy, but he's spent a lifetime working on it. So far, he still only gets change on the dollar.
Matteus:
If Scrooge McDuck was a human being.
evetsggod:
Arthur C. Clarke in "Pennies from Heaven."
jack_routers:
"Alan Greenspan: 'Gosh darn it, never ask that smart-aleck Gates if he has change for a hundred thou.'"
Nyssa23:
"Just heard that Anna Nicole Smith is available."
gleeb:
Every time he has this dream, Paul Kangas awakes in a cold sweat.
robofreak:
Merry Christmas from J. G. Moneybags: "I gots ALL the nickels, fools! Ahahahahahaha!"
Janx:
Hell, for every ruthless tycoon, is being miniaturised and imprisoned for all eternity inside a Vegas slot machine.
WEIRD_1:
Scrooge reconsiders his lust after the Tooth Fairies fortune
JurassicPork:
"Because I can't swim, that's why!"
Geier:
"...and I'd trade it all for one look at Jennifer Aniston's silky-sweet bubblies."
TyranosaurisRex:
"When Boris Karloff said 'The buck stops here' he knew what he was talking about."
"Boris Karloff didn't say that. Harry Truman said that."
"Oh. That's very different. Never mind."
Mr_Grant:
Newsflash: Halliburton Corporation is also awarded a no-bid parking meter contract for the cities of Houston, Pasadena and Tacoma. Chairman and CEO David J. Lesar commented, "Ka-ching, bay-BE!!!"
Daleman:
"All this from a bucket and a squeegee! Eat your heart out Mayor Bloomberg!"
questor:
This was the troubling pose that got Paul O'Neill fired as Secretary of the Treasury.
nastinkers:
If I had a nickel for every lame caption I'd done...
lil_amish_boy:
All right! Who stuffed Grandpa in the piggy bank again???