Agent_Moldy:
She was really hoping for the top hat, or maybe the dog. The thimble or the cowboy on the horse, even. But this was nice, too.
suggs:
Merry Submissive!!!
144Blitzen:
Gee-Just-What-I-Wanted. Thanks, DEAR!
And those were the last words Mr. Larry Hucksucker heard as Mrs. Angie Hucksucker began to pummel Larry's head in with the GE Electrico-Steam Iron he gave her for Christmas instead of the mink stole of which Angie hinted to Larry about for three months.
Nbutlerdidit:
"Echh ... not only did they give me a bedpan, but the darn thing's already full!"
questor:
As a young wife, Rose Kennedy develops a sense of irony.
Steve_Reeves:
.oO OK, so I could accept the washer/dryer for my Birthday. I could even accept the season tickets to Giants games for our Anniversary. This he's getting upside of his head! Oo.
DiscoBoy:
.oO(This'll straighten out that tinsel...)
Lanzman:
"Damn these wretched pine needles!! Aren't ANY of them flat and wrinkle-free?!?"
Generik:
Janet's husband, at her doctor's urging, attempted to do something to make sure that, along with all the holiday goodies, she got plenty of iron in her diet. Janet decided then and there that, while both she and her husband would have plenty of iron from that point on, she, at least, would never have any more semen in her diet whatsoever.
cambria36:
"Last year it was a frying pan. Next year, I'll be gone."
starkbalmy:
Jerry wept when he looked under the tree that morning and realized what his mother had thought when he told her he wanted "the new Iron Maiden" for Christmas.
jondapicam:
Grandma Smith didn't fully understand what Billy meant when he had said that he wanted a Heavy Metal Christmas tree.
Nyssa23:
"Nobody knew what caused Lulabelle Jenkins to kill her husband on Christmas morning... until this picture was found on the film in his camera."
FryGirl:
Mere minutes after this photo was taken, her husband had to be driven to the hospital to have the iron sugically removed from his ass.
BlakHat1:
Covered in What Not to Give Your Psychotic Wife for Christmas, Chapter II: So Your Wife's a Pyromaniac. That goes double for those Ginsu Knives!
Shandi:
Now we know where Auntie Grizelda got her Hair, Makeup and Jewelry Tips from...
lil_amish_boy:
WHY DIAMONDS ARE A BETTER CHOICE FOR YOUR WIFE'S CHRISTMAS PRESENT:
"Why, it's just what I wanted! A blunt object with skull-crushing capabilities. C'mere honey, I want to give you a BIG kiss."
gleeb:
After the introduction of Defense Exhibit 1, acquittal was just a matter of time...
SilentFilmStar:
Mary couldn't believe how thoughtful John had been this year. After all, it's not often that your victim provides you with a perfectly creative murder weapon.
JurassicPork:
"So, what are you going to have in lieu of sex for the rest of your life, dear?"
chilwil:
Ah yes... my favorite Christmas memory... ironing the tinsel with drunk Aunt Margaret... for each bit of tinsel we straightened out, I got a sip of the Old Granny. Looking back now in my early 30's, I wonder what ever happened to drunk Aunt Margaret.
IllegalityGirl:
"Just what I always wanted... A symbol of female opression and male domination... Thanks, Mom!"
Cyberbeast:
"But I wanted a vibrator."
flavio:
After filling in the shallow grave in the backyard, Charlotte reflects on the Christmas bludgeoning she gave Merle.
ArtMystery:
Ever the optimist, Betty just assumed that there would be a nice pack of Lee Press-On Nails somewhere under the tree to go with the gift her husband had so thoughtfully picked out.
WEIRD_1:
Ok, who got me the ugly woman for Christmas?
Torgone:
Mom, the tree looks fine.
Mom?
...You don't have to iron the tinsel. It looks fine. Really...
Mom?
It's April, Mom.
Mom?
Daleman:
Dear Virginia, Yes there is a Santa Claus. Now get your lazy ass off the floor and iron my damn shirts.
Accountant_from_Hell:
Oh goodie, a second iron. Now I can iron twice as fast. Maybe I should run around the house with a mop in my butt too.
Geier:
Ya wanna know the really, really BIZARRE part of all this? She really IS happy to have gotten the iron, and that's the most beatific, luminous smile she's ever worn.