Lanzman:
Forty years of waiting for Hal to open the pod bay door has taken a toll.
Racerex:
Famous Andromedan actor and celebrity, Zazxz Fggry, takes time out to pose for paparazzi during an intergalactic promotional tour. "I love my fans," beamed Fggry. "In fact, they're delicious."
bugwber:
"Susan Olsen rescues kittens!" in this week's Movie News! Oh, and Rula Lenska goes on a date with Enik from 'Land of the Lost.'
Generik:
"One lousy article about Alien II, and the only picture is of Sigourney Weaver?!? Those BASTARDS!!"
"There, there, dear, remember your blood pressure. Especially on this planet."
Suggs:
I was abducted by stewardesses!
scypha:
One way for aliens to learn about human culture is to read every entertainment magazine they could get their hands on. Alas, this was the only one available at NASA. It was from 1968.
Unkown (No Handle Submitted):
HAL5000: "I'm sorry Mrs. Dave, but none of the reviewers in this describe 'The Fly' as you just did."
Mrs. Dave: "Let me check your lubricant levels then?"
Daleman:
Twenty buckazoids, same as on Quark.
Mr_Grant:
Zantor love cats. With garlic and butter. *rimshot* Zantor thank you. Zantor here all week. Tip your droid. Try the human parmigiana.
BuckFifty:
"...Don Cheadle instead of Terrence Howard for Iron Man 2? Unf*ckingbelievable isn't it Leia?" "Leena." "Leia, Leena, Layme, whatever. Get me a latte ok sweet-tits." *slap on the ass*
Zoogicub:
Russia will take anyone these days for their space program, including the undead.
cambria36:
Unzip me will you, dear? I'm getting an alien sized boner looking at this centerfold of a nude 70-plus year old Mamie Van Doren.
Amon:
Fake. I can see the zipper. It's like they didn't even TRY to hide it!
JoeCrow:
BABOB:
The anatomically correct "big ass battery operated boyfriend"
Steve_Reeves:
"Honey, do you know where the kids are?"
"I think they're at the front desk trying to eat the Concierge."
"Alice! Bobby! Leave that nice man alone, he has work to do!"
jurassicpork:
John McCain gets a brilliant idea for his next attack ad. Who cares if the Hiltons contributed to his campaign? They'll all laugh about it afterward...
Beedo:
Yeah, well, they promised back in the 1960s that we'd have stuff like this (and flying cars and personal jet-packs and domestic robots) by 1985. It's well past 2000, and we're STILL *@#%ING WAITING!
JediClone:
She stacks Sleetaks by the spaceport
lil_a:
After they lost the election, McCain and Palin took their "maverick" act on the road to trade shows all over the universe!
Agent_Moldy:
Annnnd now you know why hotel managers cringe when they find out Tom Cruise has made a reservation.