Meldrick:
Pete helps himself out by a running dialog of self-narration in which he refers to himself in the 3rd person.
echostation:
Ron was right. Pete COULD whip down his shorts and wave his junk at all the girls. "This will be easy," thinks Pete.
GersonK:
...but, before he can hit the water, the fabric of space and time rend themselves to consume Pete.
Meldrick:
Pete is crippled for life when he lands on a partially submerged palm tree.
Indomitus:
Oops. Pete hit the pavement. Bad luck for Pete.
Indomitus:
"Nope... My bad. They're laughing at me. They will all die tonight."
echostation:
"And Mr. Wells is looking at me with a strange gleam in his eye..." thinks Pete.
echostation:
"You're right," says Pete. "I'll go get the vaseline."
GersonK:
Cases in point: A new roll of toilet paper. Your underwear.
Tommys Dad:
Chapter 3: Even More Marijuana
Indomitus:
Well, New Coke wasn't good. And have you tried Crystal Pepsi? Spew! Thus shreads your pathetic philosophical assertion, screengrab. I taunt you with a superiority dance now.
Meldrick:
Pay child support. Build a bomb shelter. Eat raw dog. After all, how will you know until you try?