Datazoid1701:
Julia Roberts just called me and told me I was the father of one of her twins, but she didn't say which one.
jildo:
"It says the foot bone's connected to the ankle bone." "Bob, you moron! Those aren't the toaster oven instructions!"
gleeb:
Trust me, the bats'll be along any minute now...
porpoise:
See, it IS dyed. You can see the roots.
Datazoid1701:
Kansas now has Beach front property. Thanks to instant, massive Global Warming. Surfs up, Farmer Jones!
meQal:
No wonder you can't hear anything on your radio, you have it set to print only.
mikerafone:
The fight lasted only seconds, with the dishwasher winning by a knockout.
meQal:
Well it all started one night when I was chokeing the shit out of Dan Rather...
mikerafone:
Bill sends in the Navy Seals to find Hilary's G-spot.
gleeb:
The program for folks who love reading over other people's shoulders.
porpoise:
"As long as you're reading over my shoulder, what does this word mean?"
meQal:
Welcome to the Jenny Craig interment and weight loss camp.