cambria36:
Guess who's dad owns a pharmacy.
jack_routers:
"You call ZIS a drinkink straw...I zink NUT!" Gene Hackman IS Adolf Hitler IN "The Flexi-Bend Story".
beckett:
"Hmmmmmm, macaroni?"
beckett:
"..and I say Tesla would kick the SHIT out of Edison!"
amycamus:
"You forgot to freeze Ted Williams' WHAT?!?"
jack_routers:
"Well, keep working on it, Wilkins!! We'll suck that cute blonde babe outta the bottle if it's the last thing we do!"
144b:
Really? Larry Fine was your father? Can I poke you in the eyes?
gleeb:
Ha! I'm twice the chemist you'll ever be, you bald runt!
beckett:
"...a larger penis?....Guaranteed?"
amycamus:
Oh you and your filthy euphemisms! Just make me a woman, big boy!
beckett:
"Hey, that's my wife's pet name!"
Mercutio_Jones:
So, how's your life of quiet desperation going today, Phil? Pretty fucking wretched, but let's not talk about it, eh?
da_upstart:
Probably from my ex-girlfriend.
GersonK:
"Frankly, I don't care how many goldfish you can swallow. This is a brokerage. What we'd like to know is how long you can hold your breath."
Quatermains_mistress:
.oO I just don't get the ajar thing. . .Oo.
Mr_Grant:
Mitzi carefully calculates-- in cubits-- the placement of the blood on the doorframe for Passover. Mitzi is extremely Orthodox.
Agent_Moldy:
Bad Back Theater presents: "I Accuse My Parents"
Hinermad:
"It says here the Canadian court has ruled that same-sex marriages are legal." "Hmmm." "Road trip?" "Shotgun!"
TrezKu:
We found this at the scene of the crime with a note attached saying, "Not by the hair of our chinny chinny chin."
TrezKu:
"Now Frank, in your resume you listed 'liking mittens' as one of your skills..."
da_upstart:
"... And hey, ladies, not a word to my wife about what just happened , ok?"
144b:
Fine reading, Kathy. Now, do you understand it, now?
Uh, sure Mr. Pinttern. But, the Kama Sutra is a real textbook?
144b:
gleeb:
In lieu of payment, Dr. Jenkins sometimes has his patients read passages from "Fanny Hill" to him in a low, soft voice.
144b:
STAY back Mindy! Those peppers are hot!
Hinermad:
Listerine kills germs that give roaches bad breath. (#42 in the series "1000 Failed Advertising Campaigns." Collect them all!)
UnReality:
They're releasing Timmy back into the wild.
gleeb:
Let's see, I was away for 5 years, and little Timmy is 4 next week....HEY!
Hinermad:
"What do you think Dennis?" "There's no neighbors! Where's Mr. Wilson?" "He's the one that took our house when he sued us. You'll like it here." "No, I won't!" "There are no gun laws here." "COOL!"
TyranosaurisRex:
Man, that Mr. Peanut gets weirder by the minute.
jack_routers:
It was a mistake to let the Lilliputians in to visit King Friday XIII's castle...took forever to trolley the lot out of there...
jack_routers:
In contrast to many boys with their first National Geographic, I was mostly disappointed.
Zoogicub:
What every boy in the 1940's read National Geographic for.